Bob the Rectum Stretcher

After a long day of fishing, Bob speeds home on the back roads. At the end of a bridge, a cop jumps out with a radar gun and motions Bob to pull over.

The cop walks up to the window and says, "You were going 67 in a 55 zone."

The cop takes a closer look at Bob's stained fishing attire and says, "You don't even look like you have a job."

Bob answers, "I have a well paying job. I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop, scratches his head, asks, "What does a rectum stretcher do?"

Bob explains, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then, I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across."

The cop asks, "What the hell do you do with a six foot a**hole?"

Bob answers, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge."


CC:Stand-Up News

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