Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but  forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson  virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey  virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB,  and then slowly expands to 300MB.

Lorena Bobbit  virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

Dr.  Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files  and deletes them.

Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

Titanic virus: Makes your  whole computer go down.

Disney  virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Prozac  virus: Screws up your RAM  but your processor doesn't care.

Sharon Stone  virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's  there.

Tim Allen virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

HBO  virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after week.

Woody Allen  virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

NFL Blackout virus: Will  only let you run progams on a remote terminal that's more than 75  miles away.

Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your  personal files and forwards them to the authorities.

Bill Clinton  virus: Won't let you query the system for information.

Rush Limbaugh virus: Biases everything  to the right.

Ken Starr virus: Expands a focused  search of a specific file into a global interregation of every  existing file. Creates links between unrelated data.  Works extremely slow while searching and compiling results.

Al Gore  virus: Runs quietly in background mode  but doesn't appear to really do much of anything.

Saddam Hussein  virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.

Tonya  Harding virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.

George Michael virus: Runs its course,  occasionally releasing excess data buildup.

Joey Buttafuoco  virus: Only attacks minor files.

Jerry Seinfeld  virus: Program about nothing that exits  when you're really enjoying it.

David Caruso NYPD Blue virus:   After running successfully for a while, it exits the program it was in and never works again.

Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.

X-files  virus: All your Icons start  shape shifting.

Spice Girl virus: Has no real  function, but makes a pretty desktop.

AT&T  virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

Arnold Schwarzenegger  virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.