A herd of buffalo can only move as fastas the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones atthe back of the herd that are killed first. This natural selection is good for theherd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole herd is maintained oreven improved by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, thehuman brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which theelectrical signals pass.
Recent emiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of spirits helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job-related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of completing universitystudies and then getting married and settling down, most professionals cannot keep up withthe performance of the new graduates. Only those few that stick to the strictregimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that theyachieved during their university years.
So, this is a call to arms. As ourcountry is losing its technological edge we should not shudder in our homes. But getback into the bars and pubs and quaff that pint! Your company and your countryneeds you to be at your peak, and at your best, and you shouldn't deny yourself the careeropportunities that you could achieve through excessive alcohol consumption. Takelife by the bottle and be all that you can be! And remember a good cold beer willkill those bad, useless brain cells that are slowing you down and it will make thenecessary room needed to get the good brain cells up front and at the top ready to performat their best. So bottoms up, down the hatch, look out brain it's coming fast!