A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie is stained, his face is plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin sticks out of his torn coat pocket.
He opens his newspaper and begins reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turns to the priest and asks, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"It's caused by loose living, cheap women and too much alcohol!"
"Well, I'll be damned!" the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.
The priest thinks about what he has said, nudges the man and apologizes. "I'm very sorry. I shouldn't have been so unpleasant about it. Tell me, how long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the pope does!"