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Partying & Bad Behavior
Leo Allen: Stuff It's Dangerous to Think You're Good At

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Drinking makes you think you're good at stuff it's dangerous to think you're good at, like say, communicating or drinking more or disarming a police officer or differentiating between men and women or getting into a fistfight with people on horseback.

Categories: Dark Humor, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

Partying & Bad Behavior

"Hey, Nice Tie!"
A Bear Walks Into a Bar...
A Crazy Person in the Woods
A Drunk's Prayer
A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar...
A Horse Walks Into a Bar...
A Kangaroo Walks Into a Bar...
A Little Head
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar...
A Pirate Walks Into a Bar...
A Skeleton Walks Into a Bar...
A Wild Walk Home
Adam Ferrara: Relationships and A.A.
Adam Ferrara: Sexual Conquest Lies
Adam Ferrara: The Importance of Sex
Adam Growe: Favorite Part of Having a Four-Year-Old
Adam Sandler: Just Be Dead
Al Jackson: Bacardi 151
Al Jackson: Drinking Crew
Al Jackson: Your Jackie Robinson
Al Madrigal: My Wife and I Are Really In Sync
Al Madrigal: Sand Toys
Alexandra McHale: At That Age
Alexandra McHale: Not a Compliment
Alexandra McHale: Petite Roommate
Allan Wells: Use Moderation
Amanda Melson: In the First 12 Seconds
Amy Schumer: Baby Safety Ads
Amy Schumer: Best Friend Tony
Amy Schumer: Blackout Drunk
Amy Schumer: Excuse for Drinking
Amy Schumer: Facebook Is Weird
Amy Schumer: First Birthday Party
Amy Schumer: Friends in Their Late 20s
Amy Schumer: Pregnant Friends
Amy Schumer: Staying Skinny
Amy Schumer: Worst Part About Drinking
Andi Smith: The Only Thing I Like About Camping
Andre Kelley: Woman's Best Friend
Andy Kindler: Amsterdam Vices
Andy Kindler: Never Felt Better
Anthony Clark: Friendly in Ireland
Anthony Griffith: Scare Kids Off Drugs
Anthony Griffith: Two Tours in Vietnam
Anthony Jeselnik: Addict Girlfriend
Ardal O'Hanlon: Amazon Irish
Ardal O'Hanlon: Drug Smuggling With Dogs
Ardal O'Hanlon: Irish Prescription
Ardal O'Hanlon: Making Friends With the Flight Attendant
Aries Spears: Secret Frat Drink
Arj Barker: Cop Land
Arj Barker: Did You Score?
Arj Barker: Friends With Kids
Arj Barker: High on Life
Arj Barker: Never Drive on Grass
Arj Barker: Switching Banks
Arj Barker: Troubling Shoe Museum
Arj Barker: We'll Be Together
Aron Kader: Drop Out
Auggie Smith: No Smoking in Bars
Auggie Smith: Not the Booze's Fault
Avi Liberman: Rich Friends
Bad Pickup Line
Barry Lank: Do Something You Enjoy
Barry Sobel: Meeting Friends in L.A.
Becky Pedigo: SUV
Ben Bailey: Awake at 8 a.m.
Ben Bailey: Wrong Answer
Ben Kronberg: Solitaire Drinking Game
Bert Kreischer: Morning-After Pockets
Big Kenny: By a Round of Applause
Big Kenny: Family Crack Addicts
Bill Burr: The Life of a Kid
Bill Engvall: Bill, You're Out of Your Element!
Bill Engvall: Creepy Old Man Status Achieved At 50
Bill Santiago: Dancing Salsa
Bill Santiago: Puerto Rican Dysfunction
Billiam Coronel: AAA Meeting
Blind, Blond & Ballsy
Blonde Ale
Blonde Hears Voices
Bob Marley: A Man, a Drinker
Bob Marley: Chips and Dip
Bob Marley: Friendly Waiters
Bob Nickman: Psychotic With Low Self-Esteem
Bob Oschack: Defending Your Children Against Your Friends
Bob Oschack: Happily Married
Bobby Miyamoto: On Vicodin
Bonnie McFarlane: Cocaine Is Yucky
Bonnie McFarlane: Environmentalists Exist
Bonnie McFarlane: Nervous Binge Drinking
Brake Fluid Addiction
Brendon Walsh: Medical Marijuana Card
Brendon Walsh: Trial Separation
Bret Ernst: Old School Baseball
Bret Ernst: Wait to See
Brett Butler: Beer With No Alcohol
Brian Kiley: Work Travel
Brian Posehn: Ask Me
Brian Posehn: Blind Dates
Brian Posehn: Hating on the Ex
Brian Posehn: Occasional Smoker
Brian Posehn: Only One Crazy Guy
Brian Posehn: Quitting Meat
Carol Siskind: Depressed Friend Calls
Carol Siskind: Male Friendships
Carol Siskind: One Hour of Sleep
Caroline Rhea: In Therapy Denial
Caroline Rhea: Therapy and Dating
Carrie Snow: Garage Sale
Carrie Snow: Third Child
Chad Daniels: My Wife's Friends
Chelsea Handler: AA Meetings
Chelsea Handler: Alcoholics Anonymous
Chelsea Handler: Bride's Maid
Chelsea Handler: Eleven Vibrators
Chelsea Handler: Falling Down
Chelsea Handler: Is It OK?
Chelsea Handler: Married Friends
Chelsea Handler: More Fun to Be Around
Chelsea Handler: No Wedding Gift
Chelsea Handler: Not Excited About Alcoholism
Chelsea Handler: On Robert Downey Jr.
Chelsea Handler: Rock Bottom
Chelsea Handler: Sex Addiction
Chelsea Handler: Tricky Midget
Chocolate Plus Viagra
Chris Case: Legalize It
Chris Hobbs: Getting in Trouble
Chris Porter
Chris Porter: Mushroom
Christian Finnegan: Car Alarm
Christian Finnegan: Moaning Leak
Christian Finnegan: Office Jobs
Christopher Titus: Drunk Driving Lecture
Christopher Titus: Explaining Terry Schiavo to Your Child
Christopher Titus: What I Believe In
Chuck Sklar: Live in the Past
Chuck Sklar: Perfect Crime
Chuck Sklar: Psychiatrists Seeing Psychiatrists
Classic Booty Call... Drunk
Classic Booty Call... Money
Colin Quinn: Safari
Contraband Viagra
Cool Skeleton
Corey Holcomb: Not Viagra
Cory Miller: Legalize It
Craig Shoemaker: On Drinking
Cristela Alonzo: Hard Being a Single Mom
Cristela Alonzo: Owning a Scale
Cristela Alonzo: Wine in Church
Culture Shock
D.C. Benny: Recent Trip to Jamaica
D.C. Benny: Tai Chi in the Park
Damon Wayans: Celebrity Recluse
Dan Cronin: Male or Female Restroom
Dan Cummins: Yearly Homeless Charity
Dan Levy: Doing It All in L.A.
Dan Soder: Turning 29
Dan St. Germain: Go for It, Bro
Dan St. Germain: Mysterious Ways
Dan St. Germain: Video Game Nuptials
Dana Gould: Hungry Daughter
Dana Gould: M.A.N.D.Y.
Dana Gould: Primary Emotions
Dana Gould: Synchronized Crazy Muttering
Dane Cook: How You Know You're Drunk
Daniel Kilpatrick: Sometimes Every Day
Daniel Tosh: In Paris With the Girlfriend
Daniel Tosh: Michael Phelps Embarrassment
Daniel Tosh: Never Go on "Trading Spaces"
Daniel Tosh: Tastes Like Ethnicity
Danny Cohen: Organizing Closets
Dante Nero: Drug Metaphors
Dante Nero: Teaching Lessons in a Rough Neighborhood
Darrell Joyce: What's Your Secret?
Dave Attell: Sparklers
Dave Attell: Uppity Fish
Dave Attell: Why Bungee Jump
Dave Attell: Wild Man Jack Daniel's
Dave Mordal: Illegal Cigarettes
Dave Mordal: Workaholism
Dave Nystrom: Drunk in the Middle of the Day
David Feldman: Drug Dealers in Columbia
David Feldman: Education in Los Angeles
David Feldman: Greatest Weapon Against Teen Pregnancy
David Feldman: Pharmaceutical Manufacture
David Feldman: Six Hours of Television
David J. Nash: Don't Get Strip Clubs
Demetri Martin: Bumper Stickers
Demetri Martin: Drunk Driving
Demetri Martin: Fog Machine
Demetri Martin: No See-Saws
Demetri Martin: Stutter
Demetri Martin: Surprise Parties
Denis Leary: Legalizing Pot
Denis Leary: Older Generation of Fun
Deon Cole: Vodka and Cranberry
Depressed Proctologist
DeRay: Suicide Attempt
Dickens's Martini
Dina Pearlman: Meeting Men
Disney World & Viagra
Divorced & Drunk
DL Hughley: Legislating Morality
DL Hughley: More Than Four Hours
DL Hughley: White Folks' Little Dogs
Dog Talk
Dom Irrera: Friendly Medical Advice
Dom Irrera: Good for You
Dom Irrera: To Become a Bloated Alcoholic
Dominique: Drug Testing
Donald Glover: Crazy Men Stories
Donnell Rawlings: Friends With Cool Jobs
Donnell Rawlings: Patriotic Friends
Doug Benson: "The Vagina Monologues" vs. "The Marijuana-Logues"
Doug Benson: At the Ball Game
Doug Benson: Friends Who LOL
Doug Stanhope: Drinking Age
Doug Stanhope: How Alcohol Works on Ugly
Doug Stanhope: Real Cop vs. Vice Cop
Doug Stanhope: The Perfect Person
Doug Stanhope: Too Much Coke
Dov Davidoff: Crazy People in New York
Dov Davidoff: Dad Smoking Pot in the Bathroom
Dov Davidoff: Don't Judge
Dov Davidoff: Stranger in New York
Dov Davidoff: Too High
Drake Witham: Dad Never Slept
Drake Witham: Non-Alcoholic Beer
Drake Witham: The First Time
Drink Up
Drinking & Driving
Drinking Buddies
Drinking Game: Big Lebowski
Drunk Ice Fishing in Alaska
Drunk Man vs. Snobby Woman
Drunk-Driver Test
DUI Enforcement
Dumb Drunk
Dwayne Kennedy: Bible Stories
Dwayne Kennedy: Bible Topics
Dwayne Perkins: A Play About Slavery
Dwayne Perkins: Calls at Work
Dwayne Perkins: Enough Girl Friends
Dwayne Perkins: Respect the Non-Drinker
Dwayne Perkins: The Guy Friend
Dwayne Perkins: What It's Like for a Guy Friend
Dyslexic
Early Morning Rings
Earthquake: Married Friends
Eddie Brill: Animal Similes
Eddie Brill: Senator Kennedy
Elephant Farts vs. Saloon
Eliot Chang: Gay Friend
Eliot Chang: Politically Correct Friend
Eliot Chang: That Stupid Friend
Eliz Wright: After All That
Eugene Mirman: God Is a 12-Year-Old Boy with Asperger's
Eugene Mirman: Good Father
Eugene Mirman: Helping the Homeless
Eugene Mirman: Messages Left on Bar Napkins
Eugene Mirman: Wake Up Call
Evan Davis: Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
Evan Davis: Quit Drinking
Exotic Male Dancer Cash
Finesse Mitchell: You Ever Been So Drunk...?
Flies in the Beer
Forget About It
Frank Santorelli: Something You Don't Hear
Fred Stoller: Growing Up in the 60s
Fred Stoller: Useless Friends
Fred Stoller: We'll Be Friends
Friends With Hookers
Futurama
Gabriel Iglesias: Evolution of Life
Gabriel Iglesias: The Only Big Friend Argument
Gabriel Rutledge: Sex With One Woman
Gene Pompa: Gay Roommate
Gene Pompa: Social Drinker
Geoff Brown: Spelling Out Bad Words
George Miller: Tired Mom
George Willborn: Caught Up in Trouble
Glazed Over
Glenn Wool: Screwing Up
Godfrey: Regular Black
Greg Behrendt: Don't Call
Greg Behrendt: The Dream Went Awry
Greg Fitzsimmons: Before You Turn 21
Greg Fitzsimmons: Daily Use
Greg Fitzsimmons: Married Couple Friends
Greg Fitzsimmons: On St. Patrick's Day
Greg Giraldo: Asking for Money
Greg Proops: Never Advocate Dope
Greg Proops: Smoking Ban
Gregg Rogell: New York City Marathon
Gregg Rogell: Watching "Survivor" High
Guy Torry: Real Survivor Show
Hannibal Buress: Comma Instead of Semicolon
Harland Williams: Everything Is "Star Wars"
High Tech Man
Highschool Sweethearts
Hipster Booty Call... Absinthe
Hipster Booty Call... Beer
Hitler Abstains
How Tall Is It?
Hungry Ham Sandwich
I Ain't 'Fraid Of No Ghost
Ian Bagg: Hurricane vs. Tornado
Ian Bagg: My Meth Addict Neighbor
Ian Bagg: Visiting Kentucky
Identifying Bubba
If You Had What I Have
Irish on Vacation
Jackie Kashian: Dungeons & Dragons Master Name
Jake Johannsen: Drinking on Airplanes
Jake Johannsen: Money to the Homeless
Jamie Lee: Special Occasions
Jan Karem: Pre-Historic Dates
Janeane Garofalo: Born in 1989
Jasper Reed: Tooth Fairy Visit
Jeff Dunham: Thanking Important People
Jeff Dunham: The Bright Side
Jeff Stilson: Blaming the Parents
Jeff Stilson: Low Self-Esteem
Jeffrey Ross: Drunk Driving Incident
Jeffrey Ross: Lightweight Drinker
Jeffrey Ross: Politically Correct Language
Jeffrey Ross: Stay Free
Jeremy Schachter: Quitting Pot
Jessi Klein: Buying My Best Friend a Vibrator
Jessi Klein: Cosmo Magazine
Jet Fuel Alcoholics
Jim Breuer: Stumping a Stoner
Jim Breuer: When Guy Friends Get Married
Jim David: Former Hippie
Jim Gaffigan: Why Don't You Drink?
Jim Norton: New York City Convenience
Jim Short: Jim Morrison's Gravesite in France
Jim Short: Not a Loser
Jimmie Roulette: Don't Like Making Friends
Jimmie Walker: My Good Friend, Marion Barry
Jimmy Dore: Pledging a Fraternity
Jimmy Pardo: Driving Into the Ditch
Jimmy Shubert: Licking Frogs
Jimmy Shubert: My Grandmother
Jimmy Shubert: On Conjoined Twins
Joe Bolster: Wine Tasting
Joe DeRosa: Drinking Healthy
Joe DeRosa: Theme Parties
Joey Kola: Six-Year-Old Son
John Caparulo: Don't Share Porn
John Caponera: Strong Drinks
John Heffron: Like Marines
John Heffron: Not a Golfer
John Henson: Karate Lessons
John McDowell: Out of It
John McDowell: The Importance of Vocabulary
John Mendoza: Ugly People Don't Know They're Ugly
John Mulaney: Blacking Out
John Mulaney: Not Doing Things
John Mulaney: Women Friends
John Oliver: Swearing's Healing Powers
John Pinette: Health Food
John Pinette: You Don't Have a Coupon?
Johnny Sanchez: Chemistry Class
Jon Dore: Friends With Stephen Hawking
Jon Dore: Love Drinking
Jon Dore: Trip to Amsterdam
Jon Lajoie: Mysteries of the Universe
Jon Reep: A Good Ol' Metrosexual Boy
Jon Reep: Inventor of Beer
Jon Ross: Therapy vs. Psychic
Jonathan Corbett: Retired Father
Jonathan Corbett: Trying to Quit Drinking
Jonathan Katz: Cambridge, MA
Jonathan Katz: My Uncle, the Judge
Jonathan Solomon: Basic Dad
Jonathan Solomon: The Difference When You're High
Jordan Carlos: Got a Black Friend
Jordan Rubin: Drunk Driving Test in Kentucky
Jordan Rubin: New Cell Phone
Jordan Rubin: New York Accent
Jordan Rubin: Walk the Line
Judy Gold: My Weird Therapist
Judy Gold: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Judy Gold: Politically Correct Drink
Judy Toll: Therapy Breakthrough
Julian McCullough: Brain Can't Dream
Julian McCullough: Drunk Girl Orgasm
Julian McCullough: Equipment Screwed Up
Julian McCullough: Friend Request
Julian McCullough: List of Priorities
Julian McCullough: Sexual Advances in a Bar
Julius Sharpe: Two Year Depression
Kareem Matthews: Shelter Dogs
Karen Bergreen: Bored at a Party
Karen Kilgariff: On a Bottle of Shark Cartilage Pills
Kathleen Madigan: Crack Whores in a Blizzard
Kathleen Madigan: Riding the Bus
Keep Gabby Reece Away
Keith Robinson: Friends on "COPS"
Keith Robinson: Named by Affliction
Kent Haines: BYOB Strip Club
Kirk Fox: Tall Guys on Planes
Kjell Bjorgen: Brotherly E.S.P.
Kristen Schaal: Hot Sex Dream
Kumail Nanjiani: Hogwarts Curriculum
Kumail Nanjiani: New Drug Epidemic
Kyle Dunnigan: A Good Friend Comes Out
Kyle Grooms: Bad Neighborhood
Kyle Kinane: 7-Eleven Ad Campaign
Kyle Kinane: In a Bar
Kyle Kinane: Loving Parents
Kyle Kinane: Not a Hobby
Kyle Kinane: Still Crazy
Larry the Cable Guy: Fishing While Hammered
Laura House: Strict Mom
Laura Kightlinger: Energy Crystals
Laura Kightlinger: Holidays for the Lonely
Lauren Dombrowski: Holidays Are Important
LaVell Crawford: Ain't Afraid to Die Fat
LeeAnne Ford: Prescription for a Stomach Ache
LeeAnne Ford: Side Effects
Leo Allen: Casual Friday
Leo Allen: Crazy Cat Lady
Leo Allen: Stuff It's Dangerous to Think You're Good At
Lester Barrie: Friends' Bad Advice
Lewis Black: Bill Clinton's Testimony
Lewis Black: Psychiatrists Are a Waste of Money
Libraries Are Sexy
Lightbulbs vs Pregnant Women
Like a Rock
Lisa Landry: Eighteen Is Too Young
Lisa Landry: I'm Trailer Park
Louis C.K.: Crazy Is Better Than Stupid
Louis C.K.: Crazy New Yorkers
Louis C.K.: Nobody Wins an Argument
Louis Katz: Married Friends
Louis Ramey: An Honest Politician
Lynne Koplitz: Well-Adjusted Responsibilities
Making a Confession
Malik S.: Work Your Way Up
Man & Duck
Marc Maron: Anger Management Book
Marc Maron: Defending Depression
Marc Maron: Depression and Disappointment
Marc Maron: Drug Testing
Marc Maron: Drug Testing Comedians
Marc Maron: Manic-Depressive Dad
Marc Maron: Never Been Addicted
Marc Maron: Stopped Doing Drugs
Marc Maron: The Real Losers
Marc Maron: Who's God Talking To?
Marc Price: Need a Drink to Vote
Marc Price: Turning 21
Margaret Cho: "Love Boat" Drinking Game
Margaret Smith: Father's Day Card
Margaret Smith: Vain Alcoholic Gambler Father
Maria Bamford: Anxiety Song
Maria Bamford: Depressed American Kids
Mario Cantone: Cargo Pants
Mark Brazill: AAA Too Expensive
Mark Brazill: Women as Best Friends
Mark Craig Taylor: Raising a Good Kid
Mark Craig Taylor: When Young Guys Chase Women
Mark Gross: Hard Working Crackheads
Mark Normand: Gay Bars
Mark Pitta: Changing the Party
Mark Schiff: Always Want a Bite
Mark Schiff: Grocery Shopping at 3 A.M.
Martin Moreno: The 80s
Matt Braunger: A Perfect Storm
Matt Braunger: Drunk Batman
Matt Braunger: Even Funner Halloween
Matt Braunger: First Fake ID
Matt Braunger: Medical Marijuana Dispensaries
Matt Iseman: Last Man Standing
Maz Jobrani: Swapping Ethnicities
Megan Mooney: "Price Is Right" Fans
Megan Mooney: Bridesmaid Dresses
Megan Mooney: Involuntary Gift Reaction
Megan Mooney: Strategy for Sounding Sober
Megan Mooney: When Friends Shouldn't Marry
Melanie Camacho: Busted With Marijuana
Melanie Reno: Sisterly Advice
Michael Colyar: Casing the Joint
Michael Kosta: Too Much to Drink
Michael Loftus: Irish Step Dancing
Michelle Buteau: Jamaican Nanny
Mick Betancourt: College Parties
Mike Birbiglia: A Little Unstable
Mike Birbiglia: Comedy Club Qualifications
Mike Birbiglia: Dance Club Cure
Mike Birbiglia: Drinking at the Laundromat
Mike Birbiglia: E at the Club
Mike Birbiglia: Sleepy Carl
Mike Birbiglia: The Guitar Guy Song
Mike Birbiglia: Two-Drink Mike
Mike Birbiglia: Yo' Therapist So Cheap...
Mike Birbiglia: Yo' Therapist So Crazy...
Mike DeStefano: Don't Do Drugs
Mike DeStefano: Don't Do Heroin
Mike DeStefano: Third Best Friend
Mike Dugan: Communication Through the Ages
Mike Lawrence: Working at McDonald's
Mike Sweeney: Irish Immigrants
Mike Vecchione: Criminal Justice Degree
Mike Yard: Calling on Your Friends
Mike Yard: Male and Female Friendships
Milt Abel: Passive-Aggressive
Mistaken Identity
Mitch Hedberg: Alcoholism Is a Disease
Mitch Hedberg: Butter vs. Margarine
Mitch Hedberg: Cinnamon Roll Incense
Mitch Hedberg: Kit-Kats
Mitch Hedberg: On Acid
Mitch Hedberg: Roundabout AIDS Test
Mitch Hedberg: Take a Physical
Mitch Hedberg: Trippin' in the Woods
Mixed Signals
Mo Mandel: Bought But Never Used
Mo Mandel: Hippie Parents
Mo Mandel: Jewish in a Weird Way
Mo Mandel: Meth Joke
Mo Mandel: Old Friends
Mo Mandel: Positive Friend
Mo Mandel: Ridiculously Healthy
Mo Mandel: Two Drink Minimum
Monster Mystery
Moosehead Beer
More Signs That You're Out of College
Moshe Kasher - Greetings From California
Moshe Kasher: The Doors Were a S**t Band
Mushroom into Bar
Myq Kaplan: All About Women
Myq Kaplan: New Game Show
Myq Kaplan: Thor vs. Superman
Natasha Leggero - LA Gang Tour Passengers
Natasha Leggero: Boston Blackout
Natasha Leggero: Having a Baby
Natasha Leggero: LA Gang Tours
Natasha Leggero: Making Fun in High School
Natasha Leggero: Ugly Friend
Nate Bargatze: Marriage Is Like a Mosh Pit
Nick Griffin: My Roommate's Wish List
Nick Swardson: Down side of Magical Friends
Nick Swardson: First High School Reunion
Nick Swardson: Friends at a Bar Fight
Nick Swardson: Had-to-Be-There Stories
Nick Swardson: Motley Crue - Behind the Music
Nick Swardson: Pot Brownies
Nick Swardson: Quitting Marijuana
Nick Swardson: Quitting Pot
Nick Vatterott: Drinking by Yourself
No Backseat Blonde
Nore Davis: College Degree
Norm Macdonald - Comparing Symptoms
Norm Macdonald - The Best Disease
Obviously Nuts
Only a Head
Ophira Eisenberg: Do You Like to Party
Otis Lee Crenshaw: On Time in New York
Otis Lee Crenshaw: Real Country Music
Owen Benjamin: 24-Hour Home Depot
Owen Benjamin: Chronic Bad Breath
Patrick Borelli: First Start Dating Feeling
Patton Oswalt: New York vs. Amsterdam
Patton Oswalt: U.S. Pot vs. Amsterdam Pot
Paul F. Tompkins: Had to Be There
Paul F. Tompkins: Vicious Dogs
Paul F. Tompkins: Would Crack Be So Bad
Paul Mercurio: A Different Person
Paul Mercurio: Career Day
Paul Varghese: Knock Knock Joke
Pay the Price
Pete Lee: What I Love More Than Baseball
Pick-up Line...Squirrels
Pig in a Bar
Pirate Booty Call... Rum
Poor Couple
Pot Poem
Prescott Tolk: Drugs Do Not Make You Cool
Professional Practical Jokes on the Groom
Pulled Over
Quinn Dahle: Drunk Driving Consequences
Quinn Dahle: Five Minutes Straight
Quinn Dahle: Pulled Over and Hammered
Rabbi and Duck
Rachel Feinstein: Whore Friends
Redneck Drivers
Rene Hicks: Lending a Crackhead $20
Retta: Gives Me a Rush
Retta: When Friends Complain About Work
Reverend
Richard Jeni: The Decency of Charles Manson
Richard Lewis: After Intercourse
Richard Lewis: All First Class Flight
Richard Lewis: Always Prepared
Richard Lewis: Ambivalent Arousal
Richard Lewis: Amish Friends
Richard Lewis: And She Says...
Richard Lewis: Apartment Hunting Together
Richard Lewis: Autographs
Richard Lewis: Break a Leg
Richard Lewis: Childhood Experience
Richard Lewis: Community Service
Richard Lewis: Cross-Country With Mother
Richard Lewis: Fall in Love Fast
Richard Lewis: Fear of Intimacy With Benefits
Richard Lewis: Hostile Lover
Richard Lewis: Intimate Health
Richard Lewis: Jewish Juggler
Richard Lewis: Jewish Mobster
Richard Lewis: Let It Out
Richard Lewis: Life Is Food
Richard Lewis: Like President Ford
Richard Lewis: Lowered Expectations
Richard Lewis: Once It Goes South in Bed
Richard Lewis: Only Child Ex-Girlfriend
Richard Lewis: Phone Sex
Richard Lewis: Reunion Toast
Richard Lewis: This Year's Goal
Richard Lewis: Ventriloquism
Rickey Smiley: Drug Dealer's Funeral
Rob Pue: Drinking Problem
Robert Hawkins: Singing in the Car
Robert Kelly: Officially Fat
Robert Kelly: Therapist's Advice
Robert Schimmel: California Police
Robin Montague: Backwards in Hollywood
Rod Man: Drug Testing
Rodney Laney: Medicated Cousin
Rodney Laney: Ritalin
Rogaine and Viagra
Roger Rittenhouse: Bungee Jumping
Roger Rittenhouse: Five Packs a Day
Ron White: Homophobic Friends
Rory Albanese: Kids With ADD
Rory Albanese: Program for Kids
Rubber Bar
Ruben Paul: What Only Women Can Do
Russ Meneve: Bipolar
Russ Meneve: Performance Drugs
Russian Vodka Urine
Ryan Belleville: Every Relationship Has Arguments
Ryan Belleville: Hangovers
Ryan Stout: Drunk Fish
Sabrina Matthews: Diet Pills
Sabrina Matthews: SAT Words
Sailors and Soldiers Should Be Friends!
Saint Patrick's Day Troubleshooting
Scott Kennedy: Addictive Personality
Scott Kennedy: My Brother, the Doctor
Scottish Cheapskates
Sean Morey: Hangover News
Sean Morey: St. Patrick's Day Tradition
Sean Rouse: No Memory
Sebastian Maniscalco: Check Your Text
See Anything You Like?
Self-Explanatory
Seriously, this has got to stop
Sex Before Marriage
Shane Mauss: Girlfriend Strip Club
Shane Mauss: Magic Mushrooms
Shane Mauss: Tastes Just Like Chicken
She-Devil
Sheng Wang: Better Person
Sheng Wang: Designated Driver
Sheng Wang: Eating a Pomegranate
Sheng Wang: MILF Porn
Sheng Wang: Sexual Restraint
Sheng Wang: The Munchies
Sherry Davey: On Ozzy Osbourne
Sheryl Underwood: Friends Trying to Steal Your Man
Shine On, You Crazy Fratboy!
Shoulda Said
Signs That You're a Drunk
Signs You Have a Hangover
Signs You're No Longer in College...
Singles
Sitting at a Bar...
Six Feet Under the Sheets
Six Shots of Jagermeister
Skeleton Crew
Steering Wheel
Stephanie Hodge: Careful With Cocktails
Stephen Lynch: A Lullaby for My Daughter
Stephen Lynch: A Lullaby of Daddy's Likes
Stephen Lynch: A Song for a Gay Friend
Stephen Lynch: A Song for a Special Friend
Stephen Lynch: A Song for a Special Friend Pt. 2
Steve McGrew: Drinking Tip for the Ladies
Steve McGrew: Favorite Store
Steve McGrew: Native American Mom, Irish Dad
Steve McGrew: Tequila
Steve Rannazzisi: Slow Pitch Softball
Steve Shaffer: Catholic Parochial Education
Steve Sweeney: Growing Up Catholic
Steve Trilling: Serious Driving Accident
Stolen Viagra
Stoned Drunk
Stoopit Pickup Lines
Stumpy Legged Pink Dog
Stupid Stoners
Supermarket Mother
Surprise Package
Survival of the Fittest Brain Cells
Susan Messing: Potheads and Light Bulbs, Pt. 1
Susan Messing: Potheads and Light Bulbs, Pt. 2
Susan Norfleet: On Spuds MacKenzie
Susie Essman: Running Into an Ex
T. Sean Shannon: Drink Every Night
T. Sean Shannon: Mutual Decision
T. Sean Shannon: Roommate Signals
T.J. Miller: Being Dyslexic
T.J. Miller: Cool Guys
T.J. Miller: Drinking Mimosas
T.J. Miller: Holding a Baby
T.J. Miller: Marijuana Prescription
Take what you want
Taking the Bullet
Tami Vernekoff: Talk to Mom Every Day
Taxi Fare
Taylor Negron: Inner Child
Ted Alexandro: Married Friends
Ted Alexandro: What Are You Working Out?
Tequila Poem
Termite Fun. Yep, Termite Fun.
That's Really, Really Nasty & Practical
The Bar
The Bar Exam
The Best Pub for Free Drinks
The Bottom Line
The Irishman's Wish
The Lawyer Keeps His Promise
The Logic of the Dry Beer
The Lord Giveth...
The Mother F*cker
The Never Ending Joint
The Proud Redneck
The Queen's Legs
The Statues
The Three Little Pigs
The World Accordion to Garp
Things You Don't Want to Hear in an Elevator
Three Guys
Three-Legged Dog
Tiff With Riley
Tig: Going on a Binge
Tig: Sober Now
Tim Young: Non-Drowsy Flu Medicine
Todd Barry: Financial Graph
Todd Barry: Germaphobe
Todd Barry: Pastry Chef Friend
Todd Barry: Practical Joke
Todd Barry: Therapist Bills
Todd Barry: World's Fastest
Tom Clark: Wrong Name
Tom Cotter: Call It What It Is
Tom Cotter: College Years
Tom Cotter: Going to Columbia
Tom Cotter: Love Yourself
Tom Cotter: Quitting AA
Tom McCaffrey: Sex Games
Tom Rhodes: Always the Negative Picture of Drugs
Tom Rhodes: Always the Negative Side
Tom Sharpe: Pretty Cool Jacket
Tommy Davidson: Breaking Down "Scooby Doo"
Tommy Davidson: Psychic Hotline
Tommy Johnagin: Getting High for the First Time
Tommy Johnagin: So Many Girls
Tony Camin: Ending a Sucky Story
Tony Camin: Kindergarten Rules
Tony Rock: Alcohol Instigator
Tony Rock: Alcohol Is a Drug
Tony Rock: Legalize It and Tax It
Tony Rock: Whole Other Level
Tony Woods: Babysitting
Tony Woods: Didn't Go to Africa-Africa
Top 11 Worst Things To Say at a Funeral
Torian Hughes: Forget You're Black
Tracy Morgan: No Need to Get in Shape
Translating Men Under the Influence
Trouble
Two Bit Girlfriend
Two fraternity brothers...
Two Guys in a Bar
Ty Barnett: Herpes Medication Message
Ty Barnett: Wine Tasting in Chicago
Ugly Drunk Driving
Uncle Johnny
Under the Influence
Unfaithful Wives
Vampire Bar
Ventriloquist and the Polack
Viagra and Mr. Clean
Viagra for Gramps
Viagra's Scientific Name
Vince Morris: Pulled Over as a Passenger
Walking Man, Into Bar He Goes
Walks Into a Bar... Basement Challenge
Walks Into a Bar... Bears on Drugs
Walks Into a Bar... Beer Brothers
Walks Into a Bar... Cheese Sandwich
Walks Into a Bar... Different Horses
Walks Into a Bar... Dog Day Afternoon
Walks Into a Bar... Donkeyboy
Walks Into a Bar... Double Vodkas
Walks Into a Bar... Drunk Dry Cleaning
Walks Into a Bar... Drunk Nose
Walks Into a Bar... Free Drinks
Walks Into a Bar... Frugal Gorilla
Walks Into a Bar... Gator Bite
Walks Into a Bar... Got Grapes?
Walks Into a Bar... Horsing Around
Walks Into a Bar... Jets Fan
Walks Into a Bar... Karate Chop
Walks Into a Bar... Leprechaun Pee
Walks Into a Bar... Menu
Walks Into a Bar... Mermaid Sex
Walks Into a Bar... Monkey Eats Everything
Walks Into a Bar... Name That Drink
Walks Into a Bar... Native Custom
Walks Into a Bar... Not Ready to Go Home
Walks Into a Bar... Pissing Contest
Walks Into a Bar... Pork Pie
Walks Into a Bar... Quick Shots
Walks Into a Bar... Randy Panda
Walks Into a Bar... Seeing-Eye Dog
Walks Into a Bar... Sexy Lincoln
Walks Into a Bar... South American Toad
Walks Into a Bar... String Style
Walks Into a Bar... Talking Dog
Walks Into a Bar... Taxidermy
Walks Into a Bar... The Ballerina
Walks Into a Bar... The Hamster Show
Walks Into a Bar... The Whole Gang
Walks Into a Bar... Three Tests
Walks Into a Bar... Vampires
Wanda Sykes: $400 Gun
Wanda Sykes: Ain't Payin' for No Naked-Ass Man
Wanda Sykes: Don't You Regret Not Having Kids?
Wanda Sykes: Friends With Kids
Wanda Sykes: Good Old Days of Free Drinks
Wanda Sykes: L.A. Is All Driving
Wanda Sykes: Never Go Out With Single Friends
Watch and Learn
Wayne Federman: Best Medicine
Wayne Federman: Clean and Sober at a Pink Floyd Concert
Wayne Federman: Discriminating Carpool Lane
Weekend Getaway
Wendy Liebman: Abstinence
Wendy Liebman: Best Friend's Truck
Wendy Liebman: What Drugs Do to Friends
Wendy Spero: The Shoes Make the Outfit
What a Coincidence
What a Scotsman Wears Under His Kilt
What Causes Arthritis, Father?
What Did You Say About Mama?!?
What do you call a mushroom...
What Happened in Texas
What's my name bitch?
What's the Difference?
What, No Golden Goose?
Who Was the Most Drunk?
Women & Alcohol
Ya Wanna Find Jesus?
Yo' Mama Is Like... Marijuana
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Dealer
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Drunk Driving
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Police Report
Yo' Mama Is Such a Drunk... Martinis
You Know You're Out Of College When...
You're So Stupid...Bumper Cars
Zach Galifianakis: Drinking Problem
Zach Galifianakis: Multiple Personalities
Zach Galifianakis: Suicide at Work

Animal
Blonde
Blue Collar
Cross the Road
Dark Humor
Dirty
Doctor
Fat
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Gross
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Little Johnny
Lookin' Good
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Miscellaneous
Money
NSFW
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News & Politics
Partying & Bad Behavior
Pick-Up Lines
Police & Military
Pop Culture & Celebrity
School
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Travel & Car
Walks into a Bar
Work
Yo' Mama

Jokes

Leo Allen: Stuff It's Dangerous to Think You're Good At

Leo Allen: Stuff It's Dangerous to Think You're Good At

Partying & Bad Behavior

"Hey, Nice Tie!"

A Bear Walks Into a Bar...

A Crazy Person in the Woods

A Drunk's Prayer

A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar...

A Horse Walks Into a Bar...

A Kangaroo Walks Into a Bar...

A Little Head

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar...

A Pirate Walks Into a Bar...

A Skeleton Walks Into a Bar...

A Wild Walk Home

Adam Ferrara: Relationships and A.A.

Adam Ferrara: Sexual Conquest Lies

Adam Ferrara: The Importance of Sex

Adam Growe: Favorite Part of Having a Four-Year-Old

Adam Sandler: Just Be Dead

Al Jackson: Bacardi 151

Al Jackson: Drinking Crew

Al Jackson: Your Jackie Robinson

Al Madrigal: My Wife and I Are Really In Sync

Al Madrigal: Sand Toys

Alexandra McHale: At That Age

Alexandra McHale: Not a Compliment

Alexandra McHale: Petite Roommate

Allan Wells: Use Moderation

Amanda Melson: In the First 12 Seconds

Amy Schumer: Baby Safety Ads

Amy Schumer: Best Friend Tony

Amy Schumer: Blackout Drunk

Amy Schumer: Excuse for Drinking

Amy Schumer: Facebook Is Weird

Amy Schumer: First Birthday Party

Amy Schumer: Friends in Their Late 20s

Amy Schumer: Pregnant Friends

Amy Schumer: Staying Skinny

Amy Schumer: Worst Part About Drinking

Andi Smith: The Only Thing I Like About Camping

Andre Kelley: Woman's Best Friend

Andy Kindler: Amsterdam Vices

Andy Kindler: Never Felt Better

Anthony Clark: Friendly in Ireland

Anthony Griffith: Scare Kids Off Drugs

Anthony Griffith: Two Tours in Vietnam

Anthony Jeselnik: Addict Girlfriend

Ardal O'Hanlon: Amazon Irish

Ardal O'Hanlon: Drug Smuggling With Dogs

Ardal O'Hanlon: Irish Prescription

Ardal O'Hanlon: Making Friends With the Flight Attendant

Aries Spears: Secret Frat Drink

Arj Barker: Cop Land

Arj Barker: Did You Score?

Arj Barker: Friends With Kids

Arj Barker: High on Life

Arj Barker: Never Drive on Grass

Arj Barker: Switching Banks

Arj Barker: Troubling Shoe Museum

Arj Barker: We'll Be Together

Aron Kader: Drop Out

Auggie Smith: No Smoking in Bars

Auggie Smith: Not the Booze's Fault

Avi Liberman: Rich Friends

Bad Pickup Line

Barry Lank: Do Something You Enjoy

Barry Sobel: Meeting Friends in L.A.

Becky Pedigo: SUV

Ben Bailey: Awake at 8 a.m.

Ben Bailey: Wrong Answer

Ben Kronberg: Solitaire Drinking Game

Bert Kreischer: Morning-After Pockets

Big Kenny: By a Round of Applause

Big Kenny: Family Crack Addicts

Bill Burr: The Life of a Kid

Bill Engvall: Bill, You're Out of Your Element!

Bill Engvall: Creepy Old Man Status Achieved At 50

Bill Santiago: Dancing Salsa