13> Driving your fellowCongressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.
12> President now shoutsentire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera.
11> IRS audit replacedby more efficient reverse body slam onto enema.
10> Government becomes acharade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers withno class or manners-- Hey, wait a minute...
9> Free school lunchesdestined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.
8> Sex scandals nowinvolve even skankier women.
7> January 20:Inauguration ceremonies January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids.
6> Newt Gingrich isfinally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house.
5> During House debate,it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair.
4> Difficult findinginterns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal.
3> Strom Thurmond*finally* removed by The Undertaker.
2> Line to bodyslam KenStarr winds around Lincoln Memorial.
1> Before: Mr. VicePresident After: Stone Cold Cheney