My last girlfriend wanted me to talk dirty to her in the bed. I'm no wildman in the sack. Don't let the glasses and the hip threads fool you. I had a hard time with the degrading, profane language because I was raised a proverbial nice, Jewish boy. So this is how I would talk dirty to her -- it's embarrassing -- 'You really like my schmeckle, don't you? I am gonna schtupp you so hard. Don't make me stick it in your tushie.'