Jeremy Schachter: No Furniture

It's very difficult to impress women when you have no money. When I first moved into my apartment, I had no furniture for, like, six months. So, whenever a girl would come over for the first time, I'd have to act like I just got robbed. I'd be like, 'Oh, yeah, come on in, I got lots of cool stuff here. Let me just get my keys here, one second... oh crap, I got robbed! Oh man, they took everything: my indoor pool, my piles of money. Thank God they left this air mattress.'