Daniel Tosh: Cargo Pants Day

I have a five-gallon jar at my house I like to fill with change. I don't stop 'til I reach tip-top and that little bell goes off, and I know Cargo Pant Day is here at last, and I dance. And I put the cargo pants on with a belt -- extra tight because I don't want to have an embarrassing situation on such a great day -- and I fill up all the pockets with the change. Then I get a car alarm -- not a car alarm with a car, just a car alarm -- and I hold it to my chest really closely. And then I go walk around the streets of Manhattan, and I wait for the first homeless person to come up to me and say, 'Hey, you got any spare change?' Then, I set the car alarm off: 'You hit the jackpot, mofo!'

Money

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