A husband and wife take golf lessons at the local club.
The husband goes first and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says, "Now hold your club as firmly as you hold your wife's breast." The man follows the instructions and hits the ball 300 yards.
The wife goes next and hits the ball 30 yards. The golf pro says, "Try holding the club like you hold your husband's d**k." She swings, and the ball goes 10 yards.
The golf pro says, "Not bad, now try taking the club out of your mouth."