John Mooney: Closing the Deal

I get asked advice about the ladies from the fellas. They'll be like, 'Hey, John, is there a way to get a girl from the living room into the bedroom -- sorta, like, close the deal?' And to that, I just have to say, 'Fellas, fellas, fellas. All you need to do to make that happen is give a girl a dose of what I like to call the old Mooney charm -- or as the courts like to call it, "chloroform."'