Joe DeRosa: Theme Parties

My married friends have theme parties -- theme parties! And they want me, a single guy, to come and hang out. 'Dude come over on Saturday, we're having a pirate party. We're all going to dress up like pirates. Doesn't matter to me -- I'm getting laid at the end of the night. But I wanna watch you try to score with a peg leg and an eye patch on.'