Todd Barry: Set an Alarm

You ever have sex with someone you don't know that well? They're gonna spend the night; they ask if you'll set an alarm: 'Hey can you set an alarm? I gotta wake up for work.' 'I could, but that alarm's gonna wake me up, also. They don't sell an alarm that'll only wake you up, not even at that place Brookstone. Can't you just call in sick? I really had my heart set on a really nice, awkward breakfast.'

Marriage