Mike Vecchione: Civil Union

I support the gays. They've evolved. They don't have marriage, they have something better -- something called civil union. I'm actually jealous; I would like to have a civil union with a woman. That way, when we separate, I don't have to use the ugly word 'divorce.' I can be like, 'Look, sweetie, I don't want a divorce. I simply would like to secede from the union -- then join the confederacy of banging other bitches.'