Don't come home horny, drunk, you want to text your girl a sexy message. Look what you're typing before you send it. I didn't look; I just sent it off. She called me right back, she's like, 'Uh, what do you mean you want to "kick my puppy"?'
Check out the list of comedians who taped specials in March.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best stand-up specials for just $5.
Visit our CC Live page for live comedy events near you.