Paul F. Tompkins: How Rich I Am

Here's how rich I am: I'll, like, go into a Banana Republic and buy shirts two at a time. That's right, I guess you should applaud for that. Here's the thing, people -- you're probably saying to me, 'But Paul, those shirts cost a lot of money.' Yes. Yes, they do. They cost a lot of money that I have. Maybe I'll be walking out, and I'll see they have windbreakers by the door, a rack of windbreakers. And I'll say, 'You know what -- throw a windbreaker in the bag.' And the saleswoman may say, 'But sir, don't you want to try it on?' Try it on, try it on, try it on -- why? Why? If it doesn't fit, I'll throw it away.

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