I went to the tanning salon a couple of weeks ago, this place called Tantastic. I had never been in my life. I didn't know how the whole tanning process worked. I go in -- stupid girl that works there didn't tell me where those little goggles go; I accidentally put them on my nutsack. I got home that night, got naked in front of my lady friend. She kicked me right between the legs -- thought a giant dragonfly was loose in the room.