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Lookin' Good
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Smoked Turkey

Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Smoked Turkey

Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.

Categories:Fat,Insults,Lookin' Good,Miscellaneous,Yo' Mama

Lookin' Good

60s Rebel Booty Call... Fight
90-Year-Old Beater
90s Booty Call... Flannel
A Lawyer's Ideal Weight
A Math Professor's Mistake
A.J. Jamal: Free Cats
A.J. Jamal: Good Place to Eat
A.J. Jamal: The Gang Look
Adam Growe: Piercings
Al Lubel: Night Panic
Al Lubel: Off-Beat Good-Looking
Al Madrigal: Cute Half-Mexican in a Sailor's Suit
Al Madrigal: Talking Back
Alex Thomas: Old School NBA
Alexandra McHale: At That Age
Alexandra McHale: Not a Compliment
Alfred Robles: Girl Like a Report Card
Allison Castillo: Dating a 22-Year-Old
Amy Schumer: Don't Feel Bad
Amy Schumer: Girls Getting Ready
Amy Schumer: Lights Off
Amy Schumer: Making Out With a Homeless Guy
Amy Schumer: Mother's Bragging
Amy Schumer: Negative Three
Amy Schumer: Staying Skinny
Amy Schumer: Vaginas Are Work
An Old Fart
Andi Smith: The Only Thing I Like About Camping
Andre Kelley: Adult Table
Andrew Kennedy: Dad Is Losing His Mind
Andrew Norelli: Breast Donation
Andy Kindler: Nice Shirt
Andy Kindler: On "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
Anita Wise: Body Cracks
Anthony Griffith: Scare Kids Off Drugs
Anthony Jeselnik: Addict Girlfriend
Anthony Jeselnik: Dad's Keys
Anthony Szpak: James Van Der Beek
Arceneux & Mitchell: Cotton Restitution
Arceneux & Mitchell: Whipped My Butt So Bad
Ardal O'Hanlon: Acute Pain
Ardal O'Hanlon: American Emphasis
Arj Barker: More for Less
Arj Barker: New Fax Machine
Arj Barker: No Razors in Halloween Candy
Arj Barker: Overwhelmed at the Shoe Store
Arj Barker: Troubling Shoe Museum
Arj Barker: Walking Shoes
Astronaut Booty Call... Weightless
Barry Marder: New Slim-Fast Slogan
Barry Marder: Penis Enlargement
Barry Marder: Sensible Diet
Ben Bailey: Just the Right Size
Ben Bailey: Wife's Underwear
Ben Kronberg: Coffee and Women
Big Girl With Yeast Infection
Bill Burr: Not Into Older Women
Bill Burr: The Life of a Kid
Bill Dwyer: Life Insurance Waiting Game
Bill Hicks: Cross Jewelry
Bill Keller: Blinker On
Bill Santiago: Camouflage Thong
Bill Santiago: J-Lo's Spanish
Billiam Coronel: Overweight at the Beach
Billiam Coronel: SPF
Billy Gardell: Secret to a Good Relationship
Blaine Capatch: Actual Age vs. Body Type
Blondes & Basketball
Bob Marley: Great Thing About Marriage
Bob Marley: In Line at the Water Park
Bob Nickman: Beach Outing
Bobby Miyamoto: Got the Old Man's Attention
Bobby Slayton: Buying Tampons for the Wife
Bobby Slayton: Color Issues
Bobby Slayton: Men Don't Know Fashion
Bonnie McFarlane: Cop Sunglasses
Bonnie McFarlane: Night Jogging
Bonnie McFarlane: No Such Thing as a Feminist
Bootiful
Boris Hamilton: Baggy Clothes
Boris Hamilton: Personal Challenge
Boris Hamilton: Quick Weight Loss
Brendon Walsh: Medical Marijuana Card
Brendon Walsh: WMD Penis
Bret Ernst: Blame America
Brett Butler: Answering Catcalls
Brian Kiley: Does Nana Have to Die?
Brian Kiley: Toilet Paper
Brian Kiley: Wedding Dress
Brian Posehn: Blind Dates
Brian Posehn: Brand Name Shoes
Brian Posehn: Catcall
Brian Posehn: New Miata Convertible
Brian Posehn: Scantily-Dressed Women
Brian Regan: Eye Exam
Brian Regan: New Baby Greeting Cards
Brian Regan: One Eye Set Higher
Bruce Baum: C-Span and HSN
Bruce Baum: Elliot's Peripheral Extrapolation Theorem
Bruce Bruce: Breath Be So Bad
Bruce Bruce: Don't Talk Back to Elders
Bruce Bruce: Male Stripper
Bryan Callen: 1970s Running Shorts
Carlos Mencia: Be Real
Carmen Lynch: Being Tall
Carmen Stockton: Being an Overweight Child
Carol Leifer: British Money
Carol Leifer: Got to Have a Baby Soon
Carol Leifer: Junk Mail
Carol Leifer: Lingerie at the Beginning
Carol Leifer: Lingerie Rip-Off
Carol Leifer: Long Island
Carol Leifer: New Perfume
Carol Leifer: Nude Beach
Carol Siskind: One Hour of Sleep
Carol Siskind: Pajamas
Carol Siskind: What Is Victoria's Secret
Carol Siskind: Why Men Are Nicer Than Women
Carrie Snow: Garage Sale
Cash Levy: Assumptions
Cash Levy: Tall People
Cathy Ladman: Caught the Bouquet
Cathy Ladman: Men's Eyebrows
Caveman Booty Call... Brow
Chad Daniels: Life Expectancy Sentencing
Change of Pace
Charlie Viracola: Facial Piercings
Charlie Viracola: Grandma's Job
Chelsea Handler: No Wedding Gift
Chelsea Handler: Running Into the Ex
Chelsea Peretti: I Heart Nerds
Chelsea Peretti: Jewish and Italian
Chelsea Peretti: Showering With a Loved One
Chelsea Peretti: Ugly Chelsea
Chocolate Plus Viagra
Chris Hardwick: World of Tomorrow
Chris Hobbs: Getting in Trouble
Chris Mata: Closing Time at the Gym
Chris Mata: Nice Sideburns
Chris Rich: Layaway
Chris Rich: Techno-Lingerie
Chris Rock: Bucket List
Chris Rock: Natural Causes
Christian Finnegan: Gym Membership
Christmas Gifts for Women
Christopher Titus: Please Kill Titus
Christopher Titus: Poker TV
Chuck Roy: Big N' Tall Store
Chuck Roy: Pants Size
Classic Booty Call... A Becoming Shirt
Classic Booty Call... Body
Classic Booty Call... Sight
Classic Booty Call... Tennessee
Clinton Jackson: Marrying a 19-Year-Old
Corey Holcomb: Ladies Over 30
Cory Kahaney: 14-Year-Old Daughter
Cory Kahaney: Handicapped Parking at Home Depot
Cowboys' Rating System
Cristela Alonzo: Owning a Scale
Dan Mintz: Nursing Home
Dan Mintz: Pulling the Plug
Dan Mintz: Really Nice Guitar
Dana Eagle: Transvestite's Handbag
Dana Gould: Dating a Goth Chick
Dana Gould: Plastic Surgery Face
Dana Gould: Plastic Surgery for Senior Citizens
Daniel Tosh: Big Can Be Beautiful
Daniel Tosh: Birthday Tattoo
Daniel Tosh: Getting Ready
Daniel Tosh: Ironing Ball Hair
Daniel Tosh: Only One Tattoo
Daniel Tosh: Saw Myself Naked
Danielle Koenig: Sexy Tattoo
Darrell Hammond: Marriage Quiz
Dave Attell: Cleavage
Dave Attell: One Grandpa
Dave Attell: Wild Man Jack Daniel's
David Feldman: American Teens vs. French Teens
David Feldman: Grandmother in Medical School
David Huntsberger: Hermaphrodite Population
David O'Doherty: Age Is a Number
Debbie Shea: Thong Panty Liners
Demetri Martin: Christmas Wrapping
Demetri Martin: Clothes Decide Behavior
Demetri Martin: Cool Leather
Demetri Martin: Dalmatian and Cow
Demetri Martin: Futon World
Denis Leary: $2 Million Bra
Denis Leary: Airplane Eaters
Denis Leary: Obesity Statistics
Deon Cole: Bad Fashion
Deon Cole: Getting Fit
Deon Cole: Lazy With Laundry
Deon Cole: Michael Jackson
DeRay: A Girl So Dark...
DeRay: Messing With Salespeople
Devil in the Church
Diane Nichols: Girls Shaving Their Heads
Diane Nichols: Sexy Advice From Cosmo Magazine
Dillon Garcia: Clothes That Fit
Dillon Garcia: Designated Black Person
Disease
DL Hughley: Pretty Women Can't Cook
DL Hughley: Shocking Death
Doc Barham: Oldest Living Person Dies
Dom Irrera: Lost My Grandmother
Dom Irrera: My Cousin Louie
Dom Irrera: My Grandfather
Donald Glover: Worst Place on Earth for Kids
Doug Benson: LL Cool J Pajamas
Doug Stanhope: Drinking Age
Doug Stanhope: Elderly Getting Lucky
Doug Stanhope: How Alcohol Works on Ugly
Dov Davidoff: Dressing Up Like a Referee
Dov Davidoff: Too High
Drew Fraser: Getting Old
Drop In
Dwayne Kennedy: Christmas Shopping
Dwayne Perkins: Everything for the Ladies
Earthquake: Love My Women So Black
Earthquake: Not Abraham Lincoln
Earthquake: Working for the Cleaners
Eddie Pence: Stopping a Streaker
Eddie Sarfaty: Hellish Family Vacation
Elephant & Naked Man
Eliot Chang: Juicy Ass
Emily Heller: Not a Lesbian
Emily Heller: Using Feminism
Eric Kornfeld: Left Me in the Weirdest Way
Evan Davis: Got Married
Extra-Large Condoms
Fabrice Fabrice: Raven-Symone
Felipe Esparza: Not a Threesome Body
Five Pounds of Fat
Forget About It
Frank Prinzi: Simplest Things Make Me Happy
Fred Stoller: Other People's Weight Problems
Fred Wolf: My Grandmother, the Beauty Queen
Fred Wolf: Trophy Shop
Frog Talk
Gabriel Iglesias: At the Dance Club
Gabriel Iglesias: Evolution of Life
Gabriel Iglesias: Looking for a Pregnancy Test
Gabriel Iglesias: Tear It Up
Gabriel Iglesias: The Only Big Friend Argument
Gabriel Rutledge: Never Getting Divorced
Gabriel Rutledge: Pass the Gravy
Gary Valentine: New Jeans
Gassy Granny
Geek Booty Call... Bones
Geek Booty Call... Bra
Geek Booty Call... Phaser
Gene Pompa: Ex-Smoker Weight Gain
Gene Pompa: Go Ahead
George Miller: Bragging About Age
Glenn Wool: Real Criminals
Glenn Wool: Rich Kids' Fashion
Glenn Wool: Screwing Up
Godfrey: City Bodegas
Grandma's Condition
Grandma's Racy New Panties
Grandpa's Condoms
Grandpa's Stiff Neck
Grant Taylor: Christian Gifts
Green Lipstick
Greg Behrendt: A Peach
Greg Behrendt: At the Hardware Store
Greg Behrendt: Becoming an Adult
Greg Behrendt: I Love to Eat
Greg Behrendt: Jesus Is Ripped
Greg Behrendt: Losing Weight
Greg Behrendt: Sex Drive in Older Men
Greg Fitzsimmons: Awkward In-Between Stage
Greg Fitzsimmons: Body Fat on a Cold Day
Greg Fitzsimmons: Calling Grandma
Greg Fitzsimmons: Daily Use
Greg Fitzsimmons: Hair at the Holes
Greg Fitzsimmons: Love at 18
Greg Fitzsimmons: Medical Research
Greg Giraldo: 72-Year-Old Gives Birth
Greg Giraldo: Gay Men Built Like Bodybuilders
Greg Giraldo: Obese American Adults
Greg Proops: Animal Functions
Greg Proops: Best-Looking Person in England
Gregg Rogell: On John Glenn
Gregg Rogell: Wearing Two Wallets
Hal Sparks: Botox
Hal Sparks: On the Phone With IKEA
Hari Kondabolu: Ethnic Needs
Harland Williams: Cosmetic Surgery
Harland Williams: Facial Procedure
Harland Williams: Laser Jet Printer
Harland Williams: Tanning Booth
Harland Williams: Wrinkle Cream Government Secret
Hipster Booty Call... Bed
Hipster Booty Call... Clothes
Hipster Booty Call... Clothing
Hipster Booty Call... Matching
Hipster Booty Call... Tattoo
Hobo Booty Call... Pile
Hold Back the Monster
Hope Flood: Inside Every Big Woman
Hot Breakfast
How to Sell Lawnmowers
Ian Bagg: Big Head
Iliza Shlesinger: Hair Too Long
Iliza Shlesinger: Hot or Not Test
Iliza Shlesinger: Physical Indicators
Incredible Confession
J. Anthony Brown: Barry White Diet
J.R. Havlan: Hair and Hairs
Jack Coen: Breast Implants
Jack Coen: Less Fight
Jack Coen: Looking Back
Jack Coen: Preparing for a Vasectomy
Jack Coen: Turning 40
Jack Gallagher: Baby Clothes
Jack Gallagher: Nursing Bras
Jack Mayberry: Driving With Old People
Jake Johannsen: No-Frills Men's Underwear
James Davis: Old People on Facebook
Jamie Lissow: Fastest Way to Look Ripped
Jane Edith Wilson: Pre-Pregnancy Weight
Janeane Garofalo: Born in 1989
Janeane Garofalo: Creating Content
Janeane Garofalo: The Diagnosis
Jason Andors: At Home With My Mom
Jason Kuller: Like Alec Baldwin
Jason Kuller: Penal Enlargement
Jeff Caldwell: Birth Control
Jeff Cesario: Classic Italian Male Body
Jeff Cesario: Never Notice Eyebrows
Jeff Dunham: Becoming a Wal-Mart Greeter
Jeff Dunham: Sex Life of the Elderly
Jeff Dunham: Walter's Beautiful Wife
Jeff Dye: Old People and Sports
Jeff Ross: Celine Dion
Jeff Stilson: Male Sexual Peak
Jeff Stilson: Marriage Favors Men
Jeff Stilson: Product Testing on Animals
Jeff Stilson: Two Reason I Like Being Married
Jeffrey Ross: Dead Aunt
Jeffrey Ross: Record Player Needle
Jeffrey Ross: The Deal God Gave Us
Jeffrey Ross: Wearing Flip-Flops
Jen Kirkman: Weight Gain
Jeremy Hotz: Life Change at 30
Jeremy Hotz: Men's Locker Rooms
Jeremy Hotz: What a Miserable Life
Jesse Joyce: Hot Medical Interns
Jessi Klein: Sexy Librarian
Jim Breuer: Don't Bring the Guy
Jim David: Endemic to My Race
Jim David: Not Telling My Age
Jim Gaffigan: Bald, Blind and Pale
Jim Gaffigan: Easier for Attractive People
Jim Gaffigan: Manatees
Jimmy Aleck: Buying Condoms
Jimmy Aleck: Not Answering That
Jimmy Carr: Sexual Peak
Jimmy Carr: Why Men Use Viagra
Jimmy Dore: Librarian Tattoos
Jimmy Dore: Tattoos Above the Butt
Jimmy Pardo: Big Breasts
Jimmy Pardo: Big Hair
Jimmy Pardo: Head Held Hostage
Jimmy Shubert: Airport Security Measures
Jimmy Shubert: Don't Want to Say He Was Fat...
Jo Koy: When the Underwear Comes Down
Jodie Wasserman: Not Pregnant
Joe DeRosa: Never Heard the Word "Gay"
Joe Mande: Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Joe Starr: Perfect Weight
Joey Kola: Don't Want to Lose Weight
Joey Kola: Living Too Long
Joey Kola: My Wife's Shopping Skills
Joey Kola: Scary Laugh
Joey Vega: A Woman's Backside
John Caparulo: Fat Customer in a Sandwich Shop
John Caparulo: Yard Sale Shopping
John Caparulo: Yard Sales on Memorial Day
John Caponera: Airplane Safety
John DiResta: Threesome
John Heffron: Better Chances
John Heffron: Gift Card
John Heffron: Memory Loss
John Heffron: Need a Haircut
John Heffron: Older Women
John McCain's Underwear
John Mendoza: Ugly People Don't Know They're Ugly
John Mulaney: Benchwarmer Humiliation
John Mulaney: Body Is Bad at Sports
John Mulaney: Irish People
John Mulaney: Looking Older
John Mulaney: Veronica the Babysitter
John Oliver: America's Nooks and Crannies
John Oliver: Really White
John Oliver: Still the King
John Pinette: Bed Bath & Beyond Coupons
John Pinette: Health Food
John Pinette: Nutrition Nazis
John Ramsey: Old Security Passwords
John Roy: Even in an All-White High School
John Roy: Some Things Only Black Guys Can Do
Johnny Dark: In Flight Embarrassment
Johnny Dark: Keeping Hip
Johnny Sanchez: Bored as a Kid
Johnny Sanchez: Height Makes the Difference
Johnny Sanchez: Old Black Man Sayings
Jon Dore: Memories Going
Jon Fisch: No Reading
Jon Manfrellotti: Eating the Fake Food
Jonathan Corbett: Retired Father
Jonathan Katz: Cambridge, MA
Jonathan Katz: My Father's Divorce
Jordan Rubin: Bigger Penis
Jordan Rubin: One Part Fat
Jordan Rubin: The Gayest Thing in the World
Josh Sneed: After-Christmas Sale
Josh Sneed: Children's Food Toys
Josh Sneed: On Flea Markets
Josh Sneed: Weight Loss Plan
Judy Gold: Masculine Look
Judy Gold: Selling Candy for Band Trips
Judy Gold: The Good Thing About Alzheimer's
Judy Toll: Think I'm a Babe
Julian McCullough: List of Priorities
Julian McCullough: Magical Old
Just Depends
Karen Anderson: High School Beachwear
Karen Kilgariff: Supermodel Thin
Karith Foster: Language Barrier
Kathleen Madigan: Quit Buying Perfume
Kathy Griffin: Get My Groove On
Keira Knightley Doesn't Exist
Keith Robinson: Embarrassed on a First Date
Kevin Meaney: Blind Dates
Kevin Meaney: Raccoon Coat
Kevin Nealon: First Date
Kevin Nealon: Receding Gums
Kevin Seccia: Goth Girls
Kirk Fox: Egg Donation
Kirk Fox: Too Tall for Kids
KT Tatara: Sex in the Shower
Kurt Metzger: Between the Eyebrows and the Nose
Kurt Metzger: Worst Part About Alaska
Kyle Dunnigan: Bulk Item Stores
Kyle Grooms: Can't Be a Thug
Kyle Grooms: Simple Things About a Woman
Kyle Grooms: Smart in Glasses
Kyle Grooms: Thugging With Glasses
Kyle Kinane: 7-Eleven Ad Campaign
Kyle Kinane: Loving Parents
Kyle Kinane: Not a Hobby
Kyle Kinane: Thrift Stores
Kyle Kinane: Trashy Part
Larry Amoros: Respect for Satan
Larry Amoros: Sister on the Huge Side
Larry Brown: A Body Like This
Larry Brown: Buying Condoms
Larry Brown: Things I Can Do Now
Larry the Cable Guy: Grandfather's Health
Laura Kightlinger: Backdoor Sex
LaVell Crawford: Ain't Afraid to Die Fat
LaVell Crawford: Dumb Questions
Leo Allen: Another Saying
Leo Allen: Dressing Like a Kid
Leo Allen: Paranoid Shopping
Lester Barrie: Losing Hair
Lewis Black: Christian Calendar
Lewis Black: Crisco Sunblock
Lewis Black: The International House of Pancakes
Lewis Dix: Abusive Man With Jheri Curls
Lil Rel: So Old
Lisa Gopman: Eating Disorder
Lisa Lampanelli: Fat Ex-Husband and Twinkies
Lisa Lampanelli: Fat Ex-Husband's Underwear
Lisa Lampanelli: Ready for Sex
Lisa Landry: Gym Class Is Wrong
Lizz Winstead: 70s Fashion
Lizz Winstead: Medicare Website
Lois Bromfield: After 30
Lois Bromfield: Guys Can Be Pigs
Lois Bromfield: Sexual Peak
Loni Love: 80s Fashion
Loni Love: Loved the 80s
Loni Love: Oprah's Favorite Things
Loni Love: Slimming in Black
Loni Love: Star Jones' Weight Loss
Louis C.K.: Bathing Suit Under the Clothes
Louis C.K.: One of Those Lucky People
Lynne Koplitz: Cindy Crawford Imposter
Lynne Koplitz: Crotch Expansion
Lynne Koplitz: Insulted by a Homeless Guy
Lynne Koplitz: Quatro-Boob
Lynne Koplitz: Television Weight
Lynne Koplitz: The Universe Loves Women
Lynne Koplitz: Upgrading the Underwear
Male Sex Drive Through the Ages
Marc Maron: Jesus at the Mall
Marc Maron: Marriage Is Not All About Love
Marc Price: Turning 21
Margaret Smith: Body Piercings
Margaret Smith: Higher Underwear
Margaret Smith: Ma'am
Margaret Smith: New Underwear
Margaret Smith: Overly Attentive Salesperson
Margaret Smith: Vain Alcoholic Gambler Father
Maria Bamford: A Lip Performance Color
Maria Bamford: Botox
Maria Bamford: Breast Implants
Maria Bamford: Homesick
Mario Cantone: Cargo Pants
Mark Cohen: Buying Condoms
Mark Cohen: Protest at the Beach
Mark Cohen: The Traveling Wilburys
Mark Curry: Fun at Fashion Shows
Mark Curry: Mad Models
Mark Roberts: Bald Men Make Better Lovers
Mark Roberts: Dad's Toupee
Mark Roberts: Family Traits
Mark Roberts: Girlfriend With a Tattoo
Mark Schiff: Dieting
Mark Schiff: Grocery Shopping at 3 A.M.
Mark Wheatle: Heavy D in Concert
Marta Ravin: Work-Related Medical Condition
Maryellen Hooper: Cutting Guys' Hair
Maryellen Hooper: Makeup Tricks
Maryellen Hooper: Shaving the Armpits
Matt Braunger: Chippendales Dancers
Matt Braunger: Dove Made of Rainbows
Matt Braunger: Recent Weight Loss
Matt Graham: Military Cuckoo Clock
Medical Samples
Medieval Booty Call... Wench
Megan Mooney: "Price Is Right" Fans
Megan Mooney: Bridesmaid Dresses
Megan Mooney: Involuntary Gift Reaction
Michael Jr.: Belly Shirts
Michelle Buteau: Interracial Relationships
Mike Birbiglia: A Card for My Sister
Mike DeStefano: It's a Disease
Mike DeStefano: Spread of Bulimia
Mike Dugan: Dick Clark at the Psychic's
Mike Lawrence: Bald Heads
Mitch Fatel: Loving Lingerie
Mitch Fatel: Thongs
Mitch Hedberg: Black Lights
Mitch Hedberg: Buying Doughnuts
Mitch Hedberg: Candle Holder
Mitch Hedberg: Turtleneck
Mo Mandel: Hard to Tell
Mo Mandel: Jewish in a Weird Way
Mo Mandel: Just No Way
Mo Mandel: Positive Friend
Mo Mandel: Sex With Older Women
Mo Mandel: Unrealistically Good Fake Teeth
Mo Mandel: Wal-Mart Is Special
Mopeds and Fat Ladies
Morgan Murphy: A White Guy With Cornrows
Moshe Kasher: The Doors Were a S**t Band
Mud Hole Moral
Myq Kaplan: Long Distance Relationship
Mysterious Hole at the Nudist Camp
Natasha Leggero: Paternity Tests
Natasha Leggero: Staying in Chinatown
Nate Bargatze: Big Business
Nate Bargatze: Comedy for the Troops
Nate Bargatze: Wal-Mart Is Great
Neal Brennan: Boob Pictures
Nick DiPaolo: C**k-Blocked
Nick DiPaolo: Don't Help Old Ladies
Nick DiPaolo: Easy Fit Jeans
Nick DiPaolo: Face Lift
Nick DiPaolo: Getting a Big Girl Drunk
Nick DiPaolo: On Pope John Paul II's Death
Nick DiPaolo: Prostate Exam
Nick Griffin: Models and Supermodels
Nick Swardson: First High School Reunion
Nick Swardson: Grandma's Day
Nick Swardson: Old People Driving
Nick Swardson: Swearing Grandpa
Obese Michigan Mammas
Obviously Nuts
Oprah and Airport Security
Owen Benjamin: 24-Hour Home Depot
Owen Smith: Simple Men
Pat Hazell: Four-Pack of Toilet Paper
Patrice O'Neal: Losing Weight
Patrice O'Neal: The Mystery of the Thousand-Pound Man
Patton Oswalt: Makeover Shows
Paul Dillery: Burly Guy Construction Job
Paul F. Tompkins: Gag Peanut Brittle
Paul F. Tompkins: How Rich I Am
Paul F. Tompkins: Letter to the Editor
Paul F. Tompkins: Self-conscious About Appearance
Paul Mercurio: Bargain Basement Store Petition
Paul Mercurio: Bargain Basement Store Security
Paul Mercurio: CD Player Sales Pitch
Paul Mercurio: Don't Worry About North Korea
Paul Mercurio: I Have the Bomb
Paul Mercurio: Mirrors in the Wild
Paul Varghese: Quick Word of Advice
Perv in the Lingerie Store
Pete Holmes: Things Adults Can Do, Part One
Pete Holmes: Things Adults Can Do, Part Two
Pete Holmes: Wall Drug: The Oldest Drug Store in America
Punk Rocker Gets Medical Message
Rachel Feinstein: Mom Loves Native American Jewelry
Rachel Feinstein: Sassy Mom
Reggie McFadden: Time to Lose Weight
Reid Harrison: Never Too Late
Reid Harrison: Worst Magazine in the World
Rene Hicks: Pump-Up Shoes
Retha Jones: Never Had Hips
Retta: Men's Armpits
Rich Vos: Shopping in Amsterdam
Richard Carter: Hearing Aids
Richard Jeni: The Decency of Charles Manson
Richard Lewis: Familiar Nurses
Richard Lewis: On His Uncle's Toupee
Rick Corso: Hard Having a Big Nose
Robert Hawkins: On Being a Redhead
Robert Kelly: 36-Year-Old Video Gamer
Robert Kelly: After Sex
Robert Kelly: Applebee's Desserts
Robert Kelly: Love the Applebee's
Robert Kelly: Naked With Socks
Robert Kelly: Officially Fat
Robert Kelly: Snakeskin Jacket
Robin Montague: Models Can't Eat
Robot Booty Call... Beauty
Rogaine and Viagra
Roger Rittenhouse: Flea Markets
Roger Rittenhouse: Products for the Elderly
Rory Albanese: Guido Voice
Rory Albanese: Penis Naming
Rory Scovel: Strip Club
Roseanne and Battleships
Royale Watkins: My Wife's Age
Roz G: No Fat Men
Roz G: Stupid Questions From Men
Rudy Rush: Al Sharpton for President
Russ Meneve: Ski Mask Inventor
Rusty Ward: Obsessed With Food
Ryan Hamilton: Crazy Car Dealerships
Rylee Newton: A Little Flesh in Los Angeles
Rylee Newton: L.A.'s Beauty Standards
Sandra Bernhard: On Breast Implants
Sandy Surprise
Scott Kennedy: Big Boys Can Cook
Sean Morey: Hangover News
Seasick
Sebastian Maniscalco: Airport Dress Code
Sebastian: Women's Club Wear
Severe Face Lift
Sex Over-Easy
Sexual Sofa
Sharon Houston: The Worst Genes
Shaving Lumberjacks
Sheep and Kangaroo
Sheng Wang: Going Bald
Sheng Wang: Man With a Comb Over
Sheng Wang: MILF Porn
Sheng Wang: Trying to Find Love
Sheryl Underwood: No Man Who Still Lives With His Mom
Showered With Criticism
Sommore: Hot vs. Hot to Death
Special Talent at the Old Folks' Home
Stephanie Hodge: Aging Women
Stephanie Hodge: Careful With Cocktails
Steve McGrew: Drinking Tip for the Ladies
Steve McGrew: Favorite Store
Steve McGrew: Just Because It's in Style
Steve McGrew: Nasty Lingerie
Steve McGrew: Tube Top
Steve Mittleman: Weak Chin
Steve Shaffer: Certain Large People in Certain Clothing
Steve Trilling: Real Advantage
Stripper and Model
Sue Kolinsky: 49-Year-Old Women
Sue Kolinsky: Blondes in Los Angeles
Sue Kolinsky: Having Kids at 49
Sue Kolinsky: Shaving
Sue Murphy: Big Hair
Sue Murphy: Garage Sales
Sue Murphy: Over-Tanning
Sue Murphy: Wanting Grandchildren
Sue Murphy: Yearly Bathing Suit Shopping
Sully McCullough: If This Were Junior High...
Susan Norfleet: Stopped Wearing Makeup
Susan Prekel: Dating Shorter Men
Swallowing Viagra
T.J. Miller: Cool Guys
Tami Vernekoff: Engagement Ring
Tami Vernekoff: Enough Rouge
Tami Vernekoff: Working Atlantic City
Tammy Pescatelli: Neighborhood Word for Breasts
Tammy Pescatelli: Seeing a Naked Woman
Tammy Pescatelli: Thin Hollywood Actresses
Tammy Pescatelli: Trying to Be Perfect
Tampon Shopping
Ted Alexandro: Cleavage Season
Ted Alexandro: Gotta Look Good
Ted Alexandro: Personal Trainer
Ted Blumberg: Dress Code
Tess: 90 Pounds
Tess: Big Girls in Style
The Bad Belt
The Bald Man's Delusion
The Hunter's Topless Maidens
The Lawyer Too Big to Bury
The Lollipop Line
The Old Lady's Three Wishes
The Wrong Way
Theo Von: Brett Favre Texts
Things Men Don't Say
Three Hymns
Tie Required
Tig: Getting Boobs
Tig: In SkyMall Magazine
Tim Bedore: Playing Softball Over 30
Todd Barry: Book Lights
Todd Barry: Brad Pitt or Todd Barry, Ladies?
Todd Barry: Good Choice of Condoms
Todd Barry: No Ties?
Todd Barry: Pink Yarmulke
Todd Barry: The Body Shop
Toilet Brush
Toilet Paper Enlargement Kit
Tom Cotter: Call It What It Is
Tom Segura: Extremes of Society in One Place
Tom Segura: Girls in Atlantic City
Tom Segura: Pay Phone
Tom Shillue: Body Piercing
Tony Roberts: Old Grandmother
Tony Roberts: White Lady, Yellow Teeth
Tony Rock: Difference in the Clothes
Tony Rock: Whole Other Level
Tony V.: Ugly in Atlantic City
Tony Woods: Over-Confident Raccoons
Tracy Esposito: As An Italian Girl
Tracy Morgan: No Need to Get in Shape
Tracy Smith: Any Surgery Imaginable
Tracy Smith: At 34 Years Old
Tracy Smith: Body-Conscious Sisters
Tracy Smith: Doctor's Appointment
Tracy Smith: Through Men Like Kleenex
Two Knives
Ty Barnett: That's Deception, Ladies
Ty Barnett: Unnecessary Beauty Tricks
Up or Down
Vanessa Hollingshead: Fashionistas and Gay Men Behind Fashion
Vanessa Hollingshead: Shopping for a Little Black Dress
Vernon Chatman: New Fake Tattoo
Veronica Mosey: "Juicy" Law
Viagra Coffee
Viagra for Gramps
Victor Varnado: Bathroom Adventure
Walks Into a Bar... Not Ready to Go Home
Walks Into a Bar... Pork Pie
Walks Into a Bar... The Ballerina
Wanda Sykes: On Pope John Paul II
Wayne Federman: Growing Up in Florida
Wayne Federman: Sexy Sheets
Weight Loss Adjustment
Well-Endowed Hunchback
Wendy Liebman: Got My Period Today!
Wendy Liebman: Like Most Women
Wendy Liebman: Love My 30s
Wendy Liebman: Prince Charles
Wendy Liebman: Three-Piece Bikini
Wendy Spero: One Word of Sex Shop Advice
Wendy Spero: The Shoes Make the Outfit
Whitney Cummings: On Lisa Lampanelli's Body
Whitney Cummings: On Lisa Lampanelli's Looks
Why So Much Milk?
Will Durst: PC Stuff
William Wilson: Tough Ugly Clothes
Wonder Bra
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... 7-Eleven
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Airport Bust
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Army
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Back Scratcher
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Balanced Meal
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Barbeque Sauce
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bathtub
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bazooka
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Beach
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Beeper
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Belly Button
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Belt
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bends Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bent Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Birth Certificate
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Blood Type
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Blue Whale
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Both Sides
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Burnt Ass
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... BVDs
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... C-Section
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cartwheel
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cat's Tail
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chat Room
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cheek
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chef Boyardee
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chilly
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chocolate Milk
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Coast Guard
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Compliment
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Conclusion
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cook Book
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Dancing
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Diaphragm
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Dress Tag
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Drive
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Drive-In
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Driver's License
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Duct Tape
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Earth
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Eclipse
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Elevator
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Equator
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Falling Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Family Tree
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Fighter Pilots
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Fire Department
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Fitness Referral
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Flesh-Eating Disease
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Getting Acquainted
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Godzilla
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Good Side
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Goodyear
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Got Lost
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Grand Canyon
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Gravy
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Grease the Door
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Group Discount
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Harpooned
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Heaven
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... High Dive
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Highway Regulation
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hokey Pokey
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hopscotch
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hot Dogs
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hula Hoop
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Internet
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Interstate 95
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Ironing
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Jimmy Hoffa
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Kneecaps
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Leather
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Legs
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Levi's
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... License
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Lifeguard
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Light
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Low Rider
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Marathon
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Mayonnaise
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Measurements
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Menu
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Milk Carton
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Milk Dud
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Missing Navel
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Mountain
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Movies
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... National Weather Agency
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Night and Day
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Nose Hair
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Orbit
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Panty Lines
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Parachute
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Phone Book
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Pictures
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Pillowcases
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Playing Pool
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Poles
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Polka Dots
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Population
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Portrait
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Pumps
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Quarter
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Radio
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Red Dress
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Redwoods
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Rehab
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Restaurants
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Richard Simmons
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Richter Scale
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Roll Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Rolls
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Satellite Dish
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Scale
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Scale Talk
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sea World
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sex Wave
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shade
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shadow
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sherwin-Williams
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shocks
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shoeshine
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Silver Shovel
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sits Around
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Skate Park
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sleep Shifts
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Smoking Hams
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Snowshoes
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Spandex
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Speed Bumps
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Splits
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... St. Louis
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Starving Sumo
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Steamroller
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Stock Market
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Stomach
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Stretch Marks
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tanning
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tattoo
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Telephone Company
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Telephone Pole
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... The Gym
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Thong
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tickle Me Elmo
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tidal Wave
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tie
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... To the Top
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tolls
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Train Conductor
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Vending Machine
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Volkswagen
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Voting
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Voting District
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Water Bed
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Weigh Station
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Wet Patch
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Whale Sighting
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Whales
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... World Wildlife Foundation
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... X-Files
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Yearbook
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Yo' Daddy
Yo' Mama Is So Flat... Pirate's Dream
Yo' Mama Is So Hairy... Bigfoot
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Flossing
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Hydrants
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Antique Shop
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Birth Certificate
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Breast Feeding
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Dinosaur
Yo' Mama Is So Old... History Class
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Jesus
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Jurassic Park
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Titties Off
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Jack-O-Lantern
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... A**hole
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Dorito
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Drain
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Fruit Loop
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Laptop
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Nipples
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Trippin'
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Wall
Yo' Mama Is So Stanky... Deodorant
Yo' Mama Is So Stanky... Oxygen
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Mirror
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Accident Report
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Animal Crackers
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Bag of Crap
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Bedtime
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Bucket of Water
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Cheese Underwear
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Cheeseburger
Yo' Mama Is so Ugly... Cigarette Butts
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Contest
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Cookie Dough
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Dating Yo' Dad
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Dog Pound
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Family Portraits
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Goodbye Kiss
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Hair Line
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Halloween
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Haunted House
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Indecent Exposure
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Littering
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Looks Lottery
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Met Yo' Daddy
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Pet Store
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Pork Chop
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Reflection
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Rice Krispies
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Run-Away
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Santa
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Science Fiction
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Slingshot
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Treasure
Yo' Mama's Breath... Teeth
Yo' Mama's Hair... Principal
Yo' Mama's Teeth... Field Goal
Yo' Mama's Teeth... Yellow Light

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