Tom Sharpe: Dream Come True Scratch-Off

Whenever I get down to my last $3, I'd always head to the nearest 7-11 -- the white trash casino -- and I'd buy a 40-ounce of beer and a lottery scratch ticket. I would drink the beer, and I'd scratch the ticket And it'd always be some game with some dream come true name -- you know, like, 'Pot of Gold' or 'Win the Millions' or 'Money Stack' -- and there's a picture of a big stack of money on the ticket. I think a better name for those games would be 'Spend the Child Support.' And what you do is scratch the money from a baby's mouth.

Kids