John Caparulo: Yard Sale Shopping

People come to your yard sale and ask for items they don't even see. Like, I got departments you don't know about or something? 'Where are your drapes? We're looking for drapes; we don't see drapes.' Oh, that's 'cause housewares is on the back porch, I'm sorry. You can stop by customer service at the shed, get a Slushee and a pretzel. 'What's your return policy?' I'll f**king stab you if you come back here.