The 20 Disses

    Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just throw up!
  1. They can't measure your intelligence. The scale won't go that low.
  2. Appearances can be deceiving. Or in your case, disgusting.
  3. I promise not to make fun of your height. I would never stoop to that.
  4. I'm glad you're tall. It gives me more of you to dislike.
  5. I think you stepped on something smelly. Like your feet!
  6. I've seen tables with nicer looking legs than yours.
  7. Are you going to eat that apple, or gum it to death?
  8. Your mouth's the perfect size... for your foot.
  9. I've seen a nose like yours before, but it looked better on the baboon.
  10. Know what I like about your face? Me neither.
  11. Know what goes best with a face like yours? A paper bag.
  12. Why don't you do something different with your hair? Like, wash it.
  13. You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.
  14. You'll never use your mind. You can't lose what you never had.
  15. You've made this date I won't forget... no matter how hard I try.
  16. I know why they call this a "blind date." Because now that I've seen you, I wish I were blind.
  17. You're like disposable diapers...always getting dumped.
  18. ''What are you doing Friday night?'' ''Trying to forget you just asked me that.''
  19. "What's he got that I haven't?" "You want it alphabetically?"