I love watching TV late at night. I always see some guy trying to sell real estate with no money down. They always have some fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt, chicks in bikinis and yachts. I love the success stories at the very end -- that's my favorite part: 'Just three months ago, everybody in my neighborhood thought I was retarded. Now, I make $9 million every Tuesday. My teeth and gums grew back, and my lovely wife, Nipples, can finally afford that hair transplant she wants.'