From where I'm sitting it seems like there's two main schools of status update. The first, and the most common, is just make your lives about as awesome as possible. And I'd be like this, 'Just had a picnic up a hill. What a perfect day.' No, I know what you're like. You're bipolar, you cry for half the morning. But even more pointless than that is the other one, 'About to make an omelet.' What? You are about to undertake the mighty omelet? Thank goodness you told everyone. This sh*t could go any way. Somebody contact NASA.