Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Categories:Dark Humor,Insults,Lawyer,Police & Military,Miscellaneous,Work

Insults

411
A Blonde & Her Thermos
A Blonde & Her Waitress
A Blonde's Brain
A Clean Idiot
A Good Point
A Hole in the Head
A Lawyer's Ideal Weight
A New Set of Golf Clubs
A Piece of Ass
A Wild Walk Home
A.J. Jamal: Worshipped Animals
Adding Blonde
Al Jackson: North Miami
Al Lubel: Off-Beat Good-Looking
Alexandra McHale: Petite Roommate
Allison Castillo: Dating a 22-Year-Old
Amy Schumer: Amy Jewmer
Amy Schumer: Facebook Is Weird
Amy Schumer: Lights Off
Amy Schumer: Mother's Bragging
An Insult
An Ugly Position
Andrew Norelli: Breast Donation
Andy Kindler: Comedy Workshop Motto
Andy Kindler: Republicans and Nazis
Anthony Szpak: James Van Der Beek
Antique Shop
Arceneux & Mitchell: On Michael Jackson
Ardal O'Hanlon: American Emphasis
Arkansas Dentists
Arkansas Fertility
Arkansas State Residency Application
Auggie Smith: Not the Booze's Fault
Aziz Ansari: Senator Cornyn on Same-Sex Marriage
Bad Lawyer
Bald Bubble
Barbie & Paris
Basement Full of Blondes
Becky Pedigo: Country and Western Bar
Becky Pedigo: SUV
Ben Bailey: Summer NYC Smells
Big Ben Surprise
Bill Burr: A Good Story
Bill Burr: Not Into Older Women
Bill Burr: Rednecks to Afghanistan
Bill Burr: What Cubicles Say
Bill Clinton's DNA
Bill Larkin: A Song for My Twin Brother
Bill O'Reilly vs. the Hindenburg
Bill Santiago: Bush's Edge in Miami
Bill Santiago: George W. Bush's Intelligence
Billiam Coronel: Overweight at the Beach
Billiam Coronel: SPF
Birds of Paradise
Blake Clark: How Seatbelts Work
Blake Clark: Insulting Americans
Blake Clark: Stupidity Everywhere
Blind Bunny Meets Blind Snake
Blonde & License Plates
Blonde & Missed Bus
Blonde & Pizza
Blonde Ale
Blonde Brain
Blonde Coffee Drinker
Blonde Cruise
Blonde Driver
Blonde Hears Voices
Blonde Helps with Laundry
Blonde in a Library
Blonde in the Mirror
Blonde in Wheat
Blonde Invention
Blonde Love-Handles
Blonde Luck
Blonde Makeup
Blonde Meets Cheerios
Blonde Needs Braces
Blonde on Blonde
Blonde Puzzle
Blonde Restroom Attendant
Blonde Skydiver
Blonde Sunday
Blonde Tap Dancer
Blonde Tiptoe
Blonde Tries Horseback Riding
Blonde vs. Crime Rate
Blonde vs. Ratings System
Blonde's Arrow
Blonde's Best 10 Years
Blonde's Challenge
Blonde's Coat Hanger
Blonde's Connection Down
Blonde's Favorite Group
Blonde's Helicopter Lesson
Blonde's License
Blonde's Pregnancy Tests
Blonde's Salary
Blonde's Tricycle
Blonde's Wine
Blondes & Basketball
Blondes & Computers
Blondes & Fun
Blondes & Pianos
Blondes & Pickles
Blondes Blow It
Bob Marley: Friendly Waiters
Bob Marley: Tourette Nacho Syndrome
Bob Marley: Waiter Service
Bob Oschack: Goldfish Sex
Bob Oschack: Masturbation Is a Biological Necessity
Bobby Lee: Parents' Approval
Bobcat Goldthwait: National Guard During the L.A. Riots
Bobcat Goldthwait: Rolling Stones Concert
Bonnie McFarlane: A Really Ugly Thing to Call Someone
Bonnie McFarlane: Bad Math
Bonnie McFarlane: Never Be a Lesbian
Bonnie McFarlane: No Such Thing as a Feminist
Bonnie McFarlane: Public Politics
Bonnie McFarlane: Why I Date Jewish Men
Bonus Time
Bow-Legged Cowgirls
Brainless Lawyers
Brendon Walsh: Ugly Girls
Brendon Walsh: WMD Penis
Brett Butler: Beer With No Alcohol
Brian Kiley: My Brother's Name
Brian Kiley: Related to These People
Brian Posehn: Catcall
Brian Regan: Einstein
Bringing in Religion
Bruce Bruce: Don't Talk Back to Elders
Bruce Bruce: Redneck Loves His Ford
Brunette vs. Garbage
Bryan Gutmann: Don't Get That Guy
Bryan Tucker: Freak Show
Bucket of What?
Buried Lawyers
Busy Redneck
California
Californians & Granola Bars
Carlos Mencia: Be Real
Carlos Mencia: Carlos' Dad
Carlos Mencia: Doing a Dee Dee Dee Joke
Carlos Mencia: God Has a Sense of Humor
Carmen Lynch: Being Tall
Carol Leifer: Long Island
Carol Leifer: Nude Beach
Catfish and Lawyers
Cathy Ladman: Family Reunion
Cereal Killer
Charlie Viracola: Facial Piercings
Check-Up
Chelsea Handler: AA Meetings
Chelsea Handler: Guys Who Write Poems
Chelsea Handler: Sex Addiction
Chris Mata: Closing Time at the Gym
Chris Regan: Cruise Clientele
Chris Rock: Bucket List
Christopher Titus: Education Rankings
Christopher Titus: The John Edwards Scandal
Clinton, Bush & Washington
Colin Quinn: Safari
Confusing Blonde
Corey Holcomb: Ladies Over 30
Corey Holcomb: Special Ed
Cory Kahaney: In the Morning
Count Chock Full of Nuts
Cow's Tail vs. Tie
Craig Anton: Eric Estrada Sighting
Cross the Road... Radical Woman
Cross the Road... Redneck
Crossin' the River
Cruel Joke
Dan Boulger: Bush and Hitler
Dan Cummins: Greeting Card Writer
Dan Cummins: Not Vegetarian
Dan Cummins: Pizza Sale
Dan Rosen: American Sports
Dan Sally: Deaf Child Sign
Daniel Tosh: Bad Test Taker
Daniel Tosh: Big Can Be Beautiful
Daniel Tosh: Blaming the Amish
Daniel Tosh: Commencement Address
Daniel Tosh: Getting Ready
Daniel Tosh: Make It Rain
Daniel Tosh: Only One Tattoo
Daniel Tosh: Plausible Premise
Daniel Tosh: Tastes Like Ethnicity
Daniel Tosh: To the Mormons
Daniel Tosh: Watching Soccer
Darrell Hammond: From Alabama
Darrell Hammond: On George H.W. Bush
Dave Attell: Michael Bolton
Dave Attell: Trapped in an Elevator
Dave Chappelle: "Scared Straight" Assembly
Dave Waite: Homemade Sex Tape
David Cross: Intelligent Dolphins
David Crowe: Industry Nerds
David O'Doherty: Status Updates
Dean Edwards: To Be Michael Jackson
Definition of Diplomacy
Demetri Martin: Employee of the Month
Demetri Martin: How to Be a Bouncer
Demetri Martin: Insult to Injury
Demetri Martin: State Shapes
Denis Leary: Evolution Myth
Dennis Fowler: Rosie O'Donnell News
Divorce & Circumcision
DL Hughley: Gay Flute
DL Hughley: Pretty Women Can't Cook
DL Hughley: Stupid Bumper Stickers
Dom Irrera: Honest Fourth Grade Teacher
Dom Irrera: My Cousin Louie
Donald Glover: Gold Star Power
Donald Glover: Urkel Was Retarded
Donations to the Preacher
Doug Benson: Friends Who LOL
Doug Stanhope: Babies Are Like Poems
Doug Stanhope: Chattanooga, TN
Drowning Lawyer
Drunk Man vs. Snobby Woman
Dumb Brunettes
Dwayne Perkins: Returning to Africa
Earthquake: Calling in Alabama
Eddie Brill: Senator Kennedy
Eddie Gossling: Hating Magicians
Eddie Ifft: Growing Up With Three Sisters
Elephant & Prostitute
Eliot Chang: Gay Friend
Eliot Chang: That Stupid Friend
Elizabeth Beckwith: Terrible Movie
Engineering in Hell
Engineers & Light Bulbs
Eric Kirchberger: Evolution Problem
Eric Kirchberger: Misconceptions
Eugene Mirman: Poorest Neighborhood in North America
Eugene Mirman: Random Information + Sarcasm
Fabrice Fabrice: Michael Jackson's Father
Fabrice Fabrice: Raven-Symone
Face Loan
Fahim Anwar: Biggie Fans
Farting Into the Great Beyond
Fashion Sense
Fat Chat
Feel Like a Woman
Female Lawyer vs. Pitbull
First Impressions are Everything
Flighty Blonde
Foot-Long Carrot
Ford Cars vs. Golf Balls
Forget Me Not
Four Blondes in a Pickup
Frank Caliendo: Jay Leno's Head
Frank Santorelli: Growing Up Italian
Fred Stoller: Useless Friends
Friends of Musicians
Gary Owen: Man, It's Hot
Gary Valentine: Southern Accents
Gene Pompa: Ex-Girlfriend's Dad
Gene Pompa: Source of Income
Gene Pompa: Wrong Number
Geoff Bolt: Hecklers
Geoff Keith: Water Fountain Situation
George Miller: Dumb Hitchhiker
Get What?
Gilson Lubin: In Love With Paris Hilton
Godfrey: Black History Month
Godfrey: The DeVry Institute
Grand Theft Auto
Green Lipstick
Greg Behrendt: Airport A-Holes
Greg Fitzsimmons: Calling Grandma
Greg Fitzsimmons: Finding Small Penises
Greg Giraldo: Conservation
Greg Giraldo: On Seth MacFarlane
Greg Giraldo: Police Recruits
Greg Proops: A White World
Greg Proops: Australia
Greg Proops: White People in Isolation
Gregg Rogell: Big Shot Santa
Gregg Rogell: Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson
Hard Word for a Blonde
Hari Kondabolu: Hybrid Escalade
Hari Kondabolu: In-Flight Magazine
Hari Kondabolu: Portland, Oregon
Hari Kondabolu: Progressive City
Harland Williams: Facial Procedure
Harland Williams: No Vehicle, No Service
Harvard Graduate
Harvard, Yale, and Urinal Etiquette
Heaven vs. Hell
Helen Keller Discovers Masturbation
Helen Keller Driving
Helen Keller's Scream
Higher Learning
Hillbilly Chicks and Bears
Hostage Escape Tactics
House of Sand and Dust
Human Race
I Don't Get It
I.Q.
Ian Bagg: Visiting Kentucky
If brains were dynamite...
Iliza Shlesinger: Physical Indicators
Inconvenient Flowers
Insults
J. Anthony Brown: Barry White Diet
Jackass
Jackie Guerra: Don't Look Mexican
Jacob Sirof: Geeks vs. Nerds
Jake Johannsen: First Impressions of L.A.
Jake Johannsen: Getting a Physical
James Davis: Old People on Facebook
James Johann: Held Back a Year
James Patterson: Astrology
JB Smoove: Sound System
Jeff Dunham & Walter: Not-So-Bright Son
Jeff Dunham: Achmed's Son
Jeff Dunham: Free Love
Jeff Dunham: Love Bites
Jeff Dunham: Nicknames in Bed
Jeff Dunham: Penicillin for Valentine's
Jeff Dunham: Symptoms May Include
Jeff Dunham: Tattoos as Cover-up
Jeff Dunham: Valentine's Day is for Everyone
Jeff Ross: Celine Dion
Jeff Stilson: Weird Olympic Events
Jeffrey Ross: Late Night Real Estate
Jeffrey Ross: On Seth MacFarlane on FOX
Jeffrey Ross: On Seth MacFarlane's Work
Jeremy Hotz: My Neighbor, the Keebler Elf
Jeremy Hotz: On Canada
Jim David: The Thing About Family
Jim Gaffigan: Different Kind of Pride
Jim Gaffigan: Easier for Attractive People
Jim Norton: Writing a Movie
Jimmie Roulette: Don't Like Making Friends
Jimmy Carr: Arriving Early
Jimmy Carr: Love Too Much
Jimmy Carr: Sense of Taste
Jimmy Carr: Teasing
Jimmy Carr: Why Men Use Viagra
Jimmy Pardo: How Far Up?
Jimmy Pardo: Seeing "Eyes Wide Shut"
Jimmy Shubert: Don't Want to Say He Was Fat...
John Caparulo: Fat Customer in a Sandwich Shop
John Caparulo: Missouri
John Caparulo: Yard Sale Shopping
John Fox: Changing the Light Bulb
John Mendoza: Good to Be Stupid
John Mendoza: Kids Suck
John Mendoza: Poetry Reading
John Mendoza: Ugly People Don't Know They're Ugly
John Mendoza: Using Dumbbells
John Mulaney: Blockbuster Video
John Mulaney: Meanest People in the World
John Oliver: Gastronomic Evolution
John Wessling: Dad's Fault
Johnny Big Head
Johnny Dark: Boy George
Jon Reep: Southern Accents
Jonah Ray: Seeing Dan Aykroyd
Jonathan Katz: Traditional Stages of Marriage
Jonathan Solomon: Basic Dad
Jonathan Solomon: On George H. W. Bush
Jordan Carlos: Thug Put-Down
Jordan Rubin: Black Guys Have the Coolest Lines
Jordan Rubin: Drunk Driving Test in Kentucky
Jordan Rubin: One Part Fat
Jordan Rubin: Psychic Search
Juston McKinney: Stay Off My Wall
Kareem Green: White Women
Karen Addison: Welfare Casino
Karen Kilgariff: Supermodel Thin
Kathleen Madigan: Airline Games
Kathleen Madigan: Forgetting Canada
Kathleen Madigan: Marathons
Keira Knightley Doesn't Exist
Keith Robinson: Named by Affliction
Kelly Monteith: Irrational Name Calling
Kentucky's Virgin
Kevin Meaney: Blind Dates
Kevin Nealon: First Date
Kevin Seccia: Goth Girls
Knock, Knock... Arthur
KT Tatara: Making Fun of Asian People
Kurt Metzger: Alaskan Natives
Kurt Metzger: Tiger Woods Is a Bad Example
Kurt Metzger: Worst Part About Alaska
Kyle Dunnigan: Not a Good Match
Larry Amoros: Sister on the Huge Side
Larry the Cable Guy: Meeting Hillary Clinton
Laughing Washing Machine
Laura Kightlinger: Helping the Homeless
Law School Graduation Gift
Lawyer and Sperm
Lawyer Experiments
Lawyer Minivan Tragedy
Lawyer Stamps
Lawyer-Client Relations
Lawyers and Walls
Lawyers and Water Fowl
Lawyers Love Sushi
Lawyers vs. Buffalo
Lawyers vs. Vampires
Lawyers' Word Processor
Len Austrevich: Santa Claus Calls
Leo Allen: Experiencing Racism
Leo Allen: Hating Vegans
Lewis Black: Difference Between Democrats and Republicans
Lewis Black: Exponentially Worse Halftime
Lewis Black: Meteorologist
Lewis Black: On Willard Scott
Lisa Lampanelli: Cast of the 'Jersey Shore'
Lisa Lampanelli: Fat Ex-Husband and Twinkies
Lisa Lampanelli: Fat Ex-Husband's Underwear
Lisa Lampanelli: On David Hasselhoff's Career
Lisa Lampanelli: On David Hasselhoff's Career Moves
Lisa Lampanelli: Ready for Sex
Lisa Lampanelli: Snooki's Part Time Job
Lisa Landry: That Pregnant Chick Thing
Liverpool Football
Lizz Winstead: Compassionate Conservative
Loni Love: On Tom Cruise
Louis C.K.: Crazy Is Better Than Stupid
Louis C.K.: People's Air Travel Complaints
Louis Katz: Hippie Roommate
Louis Ramey: Fidel Castro
Louis Ramey: Mutants in Mobile
Lucky Baby Hermaphrodite
Lucky Breaks & Crying Shames
Luke Torres: Asian Gangs
Lunch is back
Lynne Koplitz: Insulted by a Homeless Guy
Lynne Koplitz: Manhattan Children
Lynne Koplitz: The Universe Loves Women
M.A.R.I.N.E.
Mad Cow Concern
Mad Cow Immunity
Major Crackage
Male Animal
Male Chauvinist Pig
Male Voltage
Man vs. Pig
Marble
Marc Maron: Becomes Racist
Marc Maron: Jesus at the Mall
Margaret Cho: Hopeless Ex
Margaret Smith: Crime-Stopping Altoid
Margaret Smith: Hairy Guys
Mark Cohen: The Traveling Wilburys
Mark Gross: Worst Investor in the World
Mark Pitta: Sean Penn's Face
Married Tennessee Football Player
Marsha Warfield: What Is a Bitch?
Matt Bearden: When a Supermodel Tries to Talk
Megan Mooney: My Father's Rude Friend
Men & Lava Lamps
Men and Blenders
Michael Jr.: Belly Shirts
Michael Kosta: Sibling Birth Order
Michigan State Fans
Microsoftie
Mike Birbiglia: Coming to Grips With Parents
Mike Birbiglia: Illiterate People
Mike Birbiglia: White Bread
Mike DeStefano: Fundamentalist Christian
Mike DeStefano: Hillbilly Town
Mike DeStefano: Look in the Mirror
Mike Dugan: Philosophy Jokes in Alabama
Mike Sweeney: New Kids on the Block Lip-Sync
Mike Sweeney: Wanted Poster
Mike Vecchione: Support the Gays
Milk Doesn't Do a Blonde Good
Mime in a Forest Riddle
Mirror
Mitch Fatel: Couldn't Be a Doctor
Mo Mandel: Anti-Prius Driver
Mo Mandel: Didn't Fight Back
Mo Mandel: Just No Way
Mo Mandel: Only Jewish Kid
Monkey Brains
Morgan Murphy: A White Guy With Cornrows
Myq Kaplan: Thor vs. Superman
Natasha Leggero - Gangster Graffiti
Natasha Leggero: Going Home to Illinois
Natasha Leggero: Making Fun in High School
Natasha Leggero: Male Comics
Natasha Leggero: Rite Aid Employees
Natasha Leggero: Ugly Friend
Nerds vs. Blonde Co-Eds
Nick DiPaolo: Face Lift
Nick DiPaolo: Getting a Big Girl Drunk
Nick DiPaolo: On Denzel Washington
Nick DiPaolo: Venice Beach vs. Time Square
Nick Griffin: My Roommate's Wish List
No Knock Knocks for Blondes
No Returns
Obese Michigan Mammas
One-Eyed Blonde
Oprah and Airport Security
Otis Lee Crenshaw: Hoboken
Paul F. Tompkins: Don't Like Jazz
Paul F. Tompkins: Name in Print
Paul Mercurio: Don't Worry About North Korea
Paul Mercurio: Racist Stereotypes
Paul Provenza: Church Is Theater
Paul Provenza: Stewardess
Pete Dominick: Gym Safety
Picture Perfect
Pig in a Bar
Plastered Lawyers
Poopy Insult
Poor House
Poppa is a Brand New Bag
Preferential Treatment
Proctologists & Bartenders
Puzzled Blonde
Rainy Day Cop
Randy Credico: Reagan Library
Ray Lipowski: All Subliminal
Redneck Recycling
Reid Harrison: Worst Magazine in the World
Rene Hicks: Family Reunions
Republicans in Heaven
Retta: When Friends Complain About Work
Revenge of the Blondes
Rich Vos: Do the World a Favor
Rich Vos: Dumbest People in the World
Richard Lewis: After Intercourse
Richard Lewis: Harvard Rat Study
Richard Lewis: On His Uncle's Toupee
Richard Lewis: Third Class Mail
Rick Corso: What a Stupid Car
Rob Weinstein: Wrong Number
Robert Hawkins: On Being a Redhead
Robert Hawkins: Singing Along to the Radio
Robert Schimmel: Feminine Hygiene Ads
Rocks and Women
Rod Man: Where Michael Jackson Went Wrong
Roger Rittenhouse: Flea Markets
Roger Rittenhouse: Trying to Like Baseball
Rollin' Down
Ron White: Wake-Up Call
Rory Albanese: Analogy of Hate
Rory Albanese: Least Respected Place
Rory Albanese: London McDonald's
Roseanne and Battleships
Rudy Rush: Not Fresh
Russ Meneve: Unprovoked Shark Attacks
Russell Peters: Indian Ghosts Not So Frightening
Russian Beauties
Ryan Belleville: Using the Internet
Ryan Stout: Math Scores
Rylee Newton: A Little Flesh in Los Angeles
Sabrina Matthews: Schooling Alanis Morissette
Safe Sex Lawyers
Santa, Tooth Fairy, Drunk, Honest Senator
Say It To My Face
School in the Summertime
Sean Conroy: Nicknames from Shopkeeps
Sean Morey: Bad Waiters
Sean Morey: Love Stupid Questions
Sean Morey: Saying Stupid Things
Sean Patton: Lack of a Soul
Sebastian: Women's Club Wear
Seriously, this has got to stop
Sexist Pig Joke
Sexual Congress
Sexually Active Blonde
Sexy Donuts
Sharks and Lawyers
Shaving Lumberjacks
Sheng Wang: Grow a Pair
Sheng Wang: The Name Sheng Wang
Shirts Off
Shoes
Short Blonde Jokes
Shorty
Shut Up
Signs It's a Bad Day
Simple Men and Light Bulbs
Six and Five
Skunked
Skunks and Lawyers
Sleeping Blonde
Slip Into Something More Comfortable
Smallness
So Blonde... "Soul Train"
So Blonde... 60 Minutes
So Blonde... Airport Left
So Blonde... Blood Test
So Blonde... Taco Bell
So Blonde... Thesaurus
So many to choose from
Southern Hospitality in Flight
Space Shuttle Redneck
Speeding to the Chicago Bear
St. Patrick Taunts
Staring Insult
Stephanie Hodge: Aging Women
Steve Marmel: Mormons
Steve Marmel: On Hillary Clinton
Steve Marmel: Pauly Shore vs. Bill Clinton
Steve McGrew: Favorite Store
Steve McGrew: Just Because It's in Style
Steve McGrew: Look at Divorce
Steve McGrew: Tube Top
Steve Shaffer: Certain Large People in Certain Clothing
Stuffing
Stumbling and Mumbling
Stupid People Euphemisms
Such Talent
Surf's Up!
Susan Norfleet: Stopped Wearing Makeup
Suzanne Whang: Difference Between a Grocery Bag and Michael Jackson
Swimmimg...it's not a sport...
Take a Seat
Talking Blondes
Tammy Pescatelli: Mobile Homes
Tardy Blonde
Ted Alexandro: Bush, Kerry or Nader
Ted Alexandro: Girls' Halloween Costumes
Ted Alexandro: Illegal Downloading
Ted Alexandro: Squad Car Cop Is to Cop on a Bike...
Ted Alexandro: The Jackson Family
Tell Me Everything
Ten O'Clock All Over the World
Texas A&M Nativity Loss
Thai Rivera: Paying Customer
The Amazing Johnathan: Psychic Tonya's Car Accident
The Blonde ABC's
The Blonde Flu
The Blonde's Pregnancy Scare
The Blonde's Roadside Emergency
The Blonde's Special Order
The Comeback Supremo
The Eyes Have It
The Four Ghosts of the White House
The Hole Truth
The Lawyer Too Big to Bury
The Man With One Brain
The Mathematics of Love
The Polish Navy
The roof is on fire
The Secret of Women
The Sklar Brothers: Andrew Dice Clay
The State of Lawyers
The Stick
Things Never Said by Southerners
This Joke Hurts
Threat or Promise
Three Redneck Lies
Tig: Barbie's Friend, Wheelchair Becky
Tig: In SkyMall Magazine
Tig: Just Like Everybody Else
Todd Barry: Dirty Brad Pitt
Todd Barry: Funnier Live
Todd Glass: Look Like John Goodman
Toilet Paper Enlargement Kit
Tom Cotter: Kidney Transplant
Tom Ryan: Britney Spears in Person
Tom Segura: Description of Atlantic City
Tom Segura: Extremes of Society in One Place
Tom Segura: Girls in Atlantic City
Tom Segura: Pay Phone
Tom Shillue: Golf Is Boring Enough
Tommy Johnagin: The Hardest Thing at Community College
Tommy Sledge: Sweating
Tony Roberts: White Lady, Yellow Teeth
Tony V.: Ugly in Atlantic City
Toothpaste Inventor
Top 10 Ways to Insult The Elderly
Top Blonde Speed
Topless Fat Woman
Tracy Smith: Mama's Boy
Tub o' Goo
Twinkie Insult
Two Blondes Face a Parking Dilemma
Two Chance Blonde
Undercover Cops
Urinalotta Trouble
Vic Henley: Hillbillies With Cash
Vince Morris: Dad Was a Bigot
Vince Morris: How Was Work, Mr. Morris?
W. Kamau Bell: On Condoleezza Rice
Waisted
Wake up, Stand up
Walks Into a Bar... Jets Fan
Wanda Sykes: Are They Supposed to Be That Big?
Wanda Sykes: Bush's Air Quality Control
Wanda Sykes: Elvis Party
Wanda Sykes: Florida Strip Clubs
Washing Machine
Wayne Federman: Discriminating Carpool Lane
Wayne Federman: KISS in Concert
Wayne Federman: Learner's Permit
Ways to Say "He's Dumb"
We Cause Blindness
Wendy Liebman: Prince Charles
West Virginia's Yearly Confusion
What Not to Say in the Workplace
What's the difference between a blonde...
What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?
Whats the difference between Saddam Hussein ...
Whiskey and Michael Jackson
Whitney Cummings: On David Hasselhoff
Whitney Cummings: On Lisa Lampanelli's Body
Whitney Cummings: On Lisa Lampanelli's Looks
Why Cats Are Like Men
Why Coffee Is Better Than Women
Why did the city build a graveyard...
Why Do Men Float?
Why Man Before Woman
Why PMS?
Why Women Don't Need Driver's Licenses
Will Durst: Democrats Form a Firing Squad
Will Durst: Most Electable of the Democrats
Will Durst: PC Stuff
Woman Without an A**hole
Woman's Watch
Women and Cars
Women in Heaven
Women Pass Less Gas
Workin' Man at the Restaurant
Xtreme Makeovers
XXX Blondes
Yeehaw! The Alabama Lottery!
Yo Mama Refrigerator
Yo mama's so fat... Godzilla tried
Yo mama's so ugly... I can @#$%
Yo' Mama Is Like... Ass Hair
Yo' Mama Is Like... Campfire
Yo' Mama Is Like... Gas Station
Yo' Mama Is Like... Hardware Store
Yo' Mama Is Like... Heavyweight Boxer
Yo' Mama Is Like... Hockey Player
Yo' Mama Is Like... McDonald's
Yo' Mama Is Like... Race Car
Yo' Mama Is Like... Railroad Track
Yo' Mama Is Like... Shotgun
Yo' Mama Is Like... Vacuum Cleaner
Yo' Mama Is Like... Virus
Yo' Mama Is So Dirty... Hold Up
Yo' Mama Is So Dirty... Roaches
Yo' Mama Is So Dumb... Fart Brains
Yo' Mama Is So Dumb... Fired
Yo' Mama Is So Dumb... Road Sign
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... 7-Eleven
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Airport Bust
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Army
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Back Scratcher
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Barbeque Sauce
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bathtub
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bazooka
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Beach
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Beeper
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Belt
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bends Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Bent Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Birth Certificate
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Blood Type
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Blue Whale
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Both Sides
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Burnt Ass
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... BVDs
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... C-Section
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cartwheel
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cat's Tail
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chat Room
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cheek
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chef Boyardee
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chilly
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Chocolate Milk
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Coast Guard
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Conclusion
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Cook Book
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Dancing
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Diaphragm
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Dress Tag
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Drive
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Drive-In
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Driver's License
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Duct Tape
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Earth
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Eclipse
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Elevator
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Falling Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Family Tree
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Fighter Pilots
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Fire Department
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Flesh-Eating Disease
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Godzilla
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Good Side
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Got Lost
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Grand Canyon
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Gravy
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Grease the Door
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Group Discount
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Harpooned
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... High Dive
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hokey Pokey
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hopscotch
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hot Dogs
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Hula Hoop
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Internet
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Interstate 95
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Ironing
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Jimmy Hoffa
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Kneecaps
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Leather
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Legs
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Levi's
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... License
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Lifeguard
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Light
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Low Rider
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Marathon
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Mayonnaise
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Measurements
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Menu
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Milk Carton
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Milk Dud
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Missing Navel
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Mountain
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Movies
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... National Weather Agency
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Noah's Ark
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Nose Hair
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Orbit
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Panty Lines
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Parachute
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Phone Book
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Pictures
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Pillowcases
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Poles
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Polka Dots
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Population
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Portrait
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Pumps
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Quarter
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Radio
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Redwoods
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Rehab
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Restaurants
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Richard Simmons
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Richter Scale
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Roll Over
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Rolls
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Rotation
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Satellite Dish
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Scale
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Scale Talk
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sea World
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sex Wave
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shade
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shadow
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sherwin-Williams
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shocks
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Shoeshine
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Silver Shovel
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sits Around
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Sleep Shifts
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Smoking Hams
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Snowshoes
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Spandex
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Speed Bumps
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Splits
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... St. Louis
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Starving Sumo
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Stock Market
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Stomach
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Stretch Marks
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tanning
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Telephone Company
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Telephone Pole
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... The Gym
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Thong
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tickle Me Elmo
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tidal Wave
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tie
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... To the Top
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Tolls
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Train Conductor
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Volkswagen
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Voting
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Voting District
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Weigh Station
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Wet Patch
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Whale Sighting
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... World Wildlife Foundation
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... X-Files
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Yearbook
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Yo' Daddy
Yo' Mama Is So Flat... Pirate's Dream
Yo' Mama Is So Hairy... Bigfoot
Yo' Mama Is So Hairy... Butt Hair
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Bio-Weapons
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Corns
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Cucumber
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Flossing
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Fresh Crabs
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Hydrants
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Red Lobster
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Same Bush
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Tampon String
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Tuna Surprise
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Antique Shop
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Breast Feeding
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Dinosaur
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Jesus
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Jurassic Park
Yo' Mama Is So Old... Titties Off
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Bathing
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Boogers
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Christmas
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Christmas Daddy
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Chuck E. Cheese
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Cockroach
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Daddy's Toe
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Drive-By
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Fork
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Front Door
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Grocery Store
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Hinges
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Jack-O-Lantern
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... KFC
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Kick the Can
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Restaurant
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Rock
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Second Mortgage
Yo' Mama Is So Redneck... Mobile Home
Yo' Mama Is So Skanky... Hoe Down
Yo' Mama Is So Skanky... Jumpstart
Yo' Mama Is So Skanky... Safe Sex
Yo' Mama Is So Skanky... Sperm Bank
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... A**hole
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Dental Floss
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Drain
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Fruit Loop
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Laptop
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Nipples
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Trippin'
Yo' Mama Is So Skinny... Wall
Yo' Mama Is So Stanky... Deodorant
Yo' Mama Is So Stanky... Oxygen
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Booty Confusion
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Boyz II Men
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Change in the Weather
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Cheap Thoughts
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Clippers Game
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Drive-By
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Fired
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Masturbation
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Mirror
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... PMS
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Police Report
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Quarterback
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Reality TV
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Remote Control
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Ribbed Condom
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Sex?
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Unemployment
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Wu-tang
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Accident Report
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Animal Crackers
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Bag of Crap
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Bedtime
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Bucket of Water
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Cheese Underwear
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Contest
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Cookie Dough
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Dating Yo' Dad
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Dog Pound
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Doggie Style
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Goodbye Kiss
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Hair Line
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Halloween
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Haunted House
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Littering
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Met Yo' Daddy
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Pet Store
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Pork Chop
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Rice Krispies
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Run-Away
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Science Fiction
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Slingshot
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Treasure
Yo' Mama Is So Uptight... Jaws of Life
Yo' Mama Is Such a Drunk... Martinis
Yo' Mama vs. A Chicken
Yo' Mama vs. a Hippo
Yo' Mama vs. a Street Walker
Yo' Mama vs. Hotels
Yo' Mama vs. Secondhand Dartboard
Yo' Mama's Breath... Teeth
Yo' Mama's Hair... Principal
Yo' Mama's Teeth... Field Goal
Yo' Mama's Teeth... Yellow Light

Jokes

Drowning Lawyer

Drowning Lawyer

Insults

411

A Blonde & Her Thermos

A Blonde & Her Waitress

A Blonde's Brain

A Clean Idiot

A Good Point

A Hole in the Head

A Lawyer's Ideal Weight

A New Set of Golf Clubs

A Piece of Ass

A Wild Walk Home

A.J. Jamal: Worshipped Animals

Adding Blonde

Al Jackson: North Miami

Al Lubel: Off-Beat Good-Looking

Alexandra McHale: Petite Roommate

Allison Castillo: Dating a 22-Year-Old

Amy Schumer: Amy Jewmer

Amy Schumer: Facebook Is Weird

Amy Schumer: Lights Off

Amy Schumer: Mother's Bragging

An Insult

An Ugly Position

Andrew Norelli: Breast Donation

Andy Kindler: Comedy Workshop Motto

Andy Kindler: Republicans and Nazis

Anthony Szpak: James Van Der Beek

Antique Shop

Arceneux & Mitchell: On Michael Jackson

Ardal O'Hanlon: American Emphasis

Arkansas Dentists

Arkansas Fertility

Arkansas State Residency Application

Auggie Smith: Not the Booze's Fault

Aziz Ansari: Senator Cornyn on Same-Sex Marriage

Bad Lawyer

Bald Bubble

Barbie & Paris

Basement Full of Blondes

Becky Pedigo: Country and Western Bar

Becky Pedigo: SUV

Ben Bailey: Summer NYC Smells

Big Ben Surprise

Bill Burr: A Good Story

Bill Burr: Not Into Older Women

Bill Burr: Rednecks to Afghanistan

Bill Burr: What Cubicles Say

Bill Clinton's DNA

Bill Larkin: A Song for My Twin Brother

Bill O'Reilly vs. the Hindenburg

Bill Santiago: Bush's Edge in Miami

Bill Santiago: George W. Bush's Intelligence

Billiam Coronel: Overweight at the Beach

Billiam Coronel: SPF

Birds of Paradise

Blake Clark: How Seatbelts Work

Blake Clark: Insulting Americans

Blake Clark: Stupidity Everywhere

Blind Bunny Meets Blind Snake

Blonde & License Plates

Blonde & Missed Bus

Blonde & Pizza

Blonde Ale

Blonde Brain

Blonde Coffee Drinker

Blonde Cruise

Blonde Driver

Blonde Hears Voices

Blonde Helps with Laundry

Blonde in a Library

Blonde in the Mirror

Blonde in Wheat

Blonde Invention

Blonde Love-Handles

Blonde Luck

Blonde Makeup