Todd Barry: Substitute Teacher

These kids used to make unreasonable demands of me all the time. They'd want to use the restroom. Seriously -- straight-faced, they'd ask me, 'Mr. Barry, can I go to the bathroom?' I'd be like, 'No, of course not. I can't leave. You can't leave.' The kid would always give me the same threat: 'Well, if you don't let me go, I'm just going to pee in the corner.' I'm like, 'Go ahead. I'm subbing for the teacher, not the janitor.'