Why Hanukkah is Better Than Christmas

1. There''s no "Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special"2. Eight days of presents (in theory, anyway).3. No need to clean the chimney.4. There's no latke-nog.5. Burl Ives doesn't sing Hanukkah songs.6. You won't be pressured to buy Hanukkah Seals.7. You won't see, "You're a Putz, Charlie Brown".8. No barking dog version of "I had a Little Driedl".9. No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.10. Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.