A self-conscious bald man with a peg leg is invited to a costume party.
The shop owner at the costume shop shows him a lifeguard costume. The man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will show off my peg leg."
Next, the shop owner brings out a monk costume. The man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will show off my bald head."
The annoyed shop owner returns with a five-pound bag of caramels and says, "Take these home, melt them, pour them all on your head, stick that peg leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple."