Mike Birbiglia: Sleepy Carl

When I go to bed at night, it's like a different human being that enters my body for the night shift. I call my guy Sleepy Carl -- that's my guy. And he's a terrible employee, but he's a great dude. He's always slobbering on my pillow and muttering about Vietnam, but then he'll try to talk me out of waking up with his great plans. He'll be like, 'Why would you go out there when you could stay here and ride on a ferris wheel made of pizza?'

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