Things Your Wife Won't Say

-- The smell of beer on your breath drives me wild.

-- I'm bored. Let's shave the p***y.

-- I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

-- Let's get a good porno movie, a case of beer, and make an afternoon of it.

-- God, if I don't blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!

-- I only signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head.

-- Let's subscribe to Hustler.

-- Let's take pictures so your friends will believe you.

-- Honey, our neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again. Come see!

-- Awesome fart! Do another one!