Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved his morning, I cut my face."
The second old fogey one-upped him and said, "My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers."
The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times!"