Tom walks out of a bar, swaying back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches.
"Can I help you, fella?" asks the cop.
"Yes! Somebody stole my car!" Tom replies.
The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It was at the end of this key!" Tom replies.
At this point, the cop looks down and sees Tom's penis hanging out of his trousers. So he asks Tom, "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself?"
Tom looks down sadly and moans, "Oh God.... they got my girlfriend too!"