Nick Swardson: Getting Stabbed

I don't care if I go through life and don't help a lot of people or save a million lives. I just don't want to get stabbed. If I can get through life without getting stabbed, I win -- that's how I feel. It just seems so horrible. It's not like getting shot. When you get shot, you don't see the bullet going in. You're just like, 'Alright -- BANG! -- whoa, I just got shot.' When you get stabbed, it's like you're there the whole time.

Dark Humor