Marianne Sierk: Lost Kitten

So this is what I would do if I found this kitten: I would take her and I would shave her and I would dye her purple and I'd put little leather pants on her and I'd teach her to talk somehow -- I don't know how -- and I'd bring her back, and I'd be like, 'Here's Fluffy!' And they'd be like, 'What happened?' And I'd say, 'Oh ba-da-da-da-da -- sorry, I believe the little flyer here said no questions asked.'