Gary Lazer: Pet Parrot

I got a parrot; it turned on me. You don't realize how strong those birds are, but I was walking by its cage one day -- boom! -- the next thing you know, I'm in a chair,; I'm all tied up; I have a gag in my mouth. And the parrot's sitting in front of me going, 'Now you repeat after me: Hello, hello, who's the pretty boy now, huh?'