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Animal
It's What's For Dinner
It's What's For Dinner
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What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef Stroke-n-off
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Categories:
Animal
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Dirty
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Men/Women
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Miscellaneous
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Gross
Animal
A Bear Walks Into a Bar...
A Grasshopper Walks Into a Bar...
A Gummy Problem
A Kangaroo Walks Into a Bar...
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar...
A Piece of Advice
A Sack Full of Chickens
A Woman's Four Favorite Animals
A.J. Jamal: Free Cats
Adam Ferrara: Look to Nature
Amanda Melson: Take Back the Field
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
Andrew Norelli: Wrong Time to Worry
Andy Kindler: Worry Wildlife
Animal Lives
Animal Rotation
Another Bull Name
Another Chicken, Another Road
Ants Dancing
Ants in Your Pants
Apple & Worm
Ardal O'Hanlon: Drug Smuggling With Dogs
Arj Barker: Guess What, Cat?
At the Door
Aziz Ansari: Senator Cornyn on Same-Sex Marriage
Ba Ba Black Sheep
Bald Fleas
Basketball Chicken
Bear & Deer
Bear & Toilet
Bear on a Rampage
Bee Pee
Beer Nuts vs. Deer Nuts
Beethoven's Chicken
Bells on Cows
Best Goldfish Joke Ever
Big Noses
Bill Coronel: Dog Food Guideline
Bill Dwyer: Petting Zoo
Bill Dwyer: Why Kids?
Bill Kirchenbauer: Sea World Seafood
Bird It Through the Grapevine
Bird of Peace, Bird of Love
Birdie Poem
Birdman
Birds of Paradise
Black & White & Red
Black and Brown
Blind Bunny Meets Blind Snake
Blind Dinosaur
Blind Skydivers
Blond Dog
Blonde & Goldfish
Blonde Counting Sheep
Blonde in Disguise
Blonde NASA Engineer
Blossom & Porky
Bob Marley: Atkins Diet
Bob Nickman: Strobe Headlines
Bonnie McFarlane: Hunting Dog
Bovine Hijinx
Brave Pig With the Peg Leg
Brian Kiley: Shot an Elk
Broken Cage
Bruce Baum: Elliot's Peripheral Extrapolation Theorem
Bug's Mind
Busy Redneck
Careful What You Kick
Carrots
Cash Levy: Lions
Cash Levy: Wild Stallion
Cat Hospital
Catching a Polar Bear
Catching a Squirrel
Catching Rabbits
Catfish and Lawyers
Cathy Ladman: Deer in Headlights
Caught and Tagged
Centipede & Parrot
Charging Elephant
Charles Van Deventer: My Dog, Bill Clinton
Charlie Murphy: The Dog Whisperer Technique
Chicken Chat
Chicken Don't Wear Underwear
Chicken in the Dirt
Chicken in the Road
Chicken on the Field
Childless Smokey the Bear
Chris Hardwick: Full of Disease
Chris Hardwick: Humans and Chimps
Christian Finnegan: Unfiltered Dog Brain
Chucky at the Movies
Clinton Jackson: Talk to the Cat
Clown Booty Call... Poodles
Clumsy Insects
Colin Quinn: Lions Are a Joke
Colin Quinn: Safari
Condom Dog
Cow Abortion
Cow Fun
Cow Murder Mystery
Cow or Tractor
Cow Pat Lip Gloss
Cow Reflexes
Cow Riddle
Cow's Tail vs. Tie
Cowboy Talks to the Animals
Craig Shoemaker: Half-Pit Bull, Half-Poodle
Crazy Little Critters
Cricket
Cross the Road... Chicken Keeps Going
Cross the Road... Fat Turkey
Cross the Road... Forgetful Chicken
Cross the Road... Little Cow
Cross the Road... Monkey
Cutest Baby Chicks Ever
D.C. Benny: German Shepherd
Dan Devido: Fraternity Fish
Dan Soder: Factory Job
Dana Gould: Hypocritical Liberal Los Angeles
Dangerous & Swings
Daniel Kilpatrick: Screwing the Pooch
Darrell Hammond: On George H.W. Bush
Dave Attell: Against Porno
Dave Attell: Make My Own Fun
Dave Attell: Uppity Fish
Dave Waite: Costume Party
David Cross: Delicious Ugly Animals
David Cross: Intelligent Dolphins
David Feldman: Dolphin Intelligence
Dead Donkey
Deaf Rover
Demetri Martin: Dalmatian and Cow
Demetri Martin: Dog Wearing a Sweater
Demetri Martin: Fish Names
Demetri Martin: Pillow Fights
Demetri Martin: Pinata
Demetri Martin: Some Women Are Liars
DeRay: Bird Hit by a Car
Dinosaur & Pig
Dinosaur Booty Call... Ass
Dinosaur Booty Call... Herbivore
Dinosaur Booty Call... Name
Dinosaur Booty Call... Pedal
Dinosaur Crossing
DL Hughley: White Folks' Little Dogs
Doe in the Woods
Dog & Elephant
Dog Abilities
Dog Balls
Dog Crossing
Dog Dancer
Dog Days
Dog Fishin'
Dog With No Legs
Doggone It
Doggy Licks
Dogs Take Their Licks
Don't Got Milk?
Donkey-Onion Hybrid
Donkeys at Christmas
Double-Parked Frog
Duck at the Pharmacy
Duck-Hunting Dog Tells All
Ducks & Elephants
Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac
Easter Egg Hunt
Eddie Brill: Animal Similes
Eddie Pence: Marking Territory
Egg-Laying
Elephant & Naked Man
Elephant & Prostitute
Elephant Encounter
Elephant Farts vs. Saloon
Elephant Feet
Elephant Tampon
Elephants, Beavers & the Jungle
Ellen DeGeneres: A Beautiful Animal
Ellen DeGeneres: In Touch With Nature
Eugene Mirman: Bears in Detroit
Eugene Mirman: Don't Like Someone
Eugene Mirman: If a Bear Attacks
Eugene Mirman: Real Dares
Every Party Needs a Pooper
Everyone's Doing It
Evil Tuna
Faking It
Farmer and the Cow
Farmer Joe and his Mule
Female Lawyer vs. Pitbull
First Day of School
Fish 'n' D**ks
Fish Brains
Fish TV
Fleas
Flock of Seagulls
Fly Away
Fly vs. Mosquito
Fly Without Wings
Football Fan To The Rescue
For my next trick...
Frank Prinzi: Trouble Sleeping
Freddy Soto: Leave the Cockroach
Frog Crossing the Road
Frog on the Lady's Head
Frog's Dream Girl
Full of Wool
Garage of Love
Gary Lazer: Pet Parrot
Gary Valentine: Loose Spider
Genetic Manipulation for Good, Not Evil
George of the Jungle
Giant Underwater Creature
Give the Dog a Bone
God's Dead Dog
Golfer Goes to the Emergency Room
Gone With The Schwinn
Gorilla and Computer
Gray on the Inside
Green and Jumpy
Greer Barnes: Doggy-Style
Greg Behrendt: Airport A-Holes
Greg Behrendt: Sex Drive in Older Men
Greg Fitzsimmons: Iowa Is the Worst
Greg Giraldo: Monkey Pox
Greg Giraldo: The Taco Bell Chihuahua
Greg Giraldo: West Nile Virus in Queens
Greg Proops: Animal Functions
Gum Crossing
Gynecologist and a Dog
Harland Williams: Can't Sleep
Harland Williams: Coyotes
Harland Williams: Flies on the Totem Pole
Harland Williams: Getting Rid of Spiders
Harland Williams: Scarecrows
Harland Williams: Sea Turtle Government Secret
Harland Williams: The Snowy Owl
Harland Williams: Tormenting Flies
Harry Potter Quiz
Hedgehog, Giraffe, Dental Hygeine
Heffahump
Help. I Lost My Crippled Turtle.
Henriette Mantel: Horse Love
Henriette Mantel: Quitting Coffee
Here, Piggy, Piggy
Hillbilly Chicks and Bears
Holy Cow
Holy Moley
Horse Fall
How Do You Catch?
How does a blonde try to kill a fish?
How to Catch an Elephant
Human DNA and Goats
Humming Bees
Huntin' License
Hurt Bee Back
I Think I'm a Moth
I'm Very Bullish On Milk
Ian Bagg: In a Tornado
Iliza Shlesinger: Polar Bears
Inky Pig
It's Not For Him, Stupid
It's What's For Dinner
Jake Johannsen: Vet Instructions
Janine DiTullio: While They're Away
Jeff Altman: Confused About Bush
Jeff Altman: Wish I Could Do That
Jeff Dunham: Giraffe's Vomiting Delay
Jeff Stilson: Jealous Rats
Jeff Stilson: Linguistics
Jeff Stilson: Product Testing on Animals
Jeff Stilson: Putting a Pet to Sleep
Jeremy Hotz: Untrustworthy Snails
Jessi Klein: Obsessed With Dogs
Jim Gaffigan: Manatees
Jim Short: On the Crocodile Hunter
Jimmie Roulette: Crushing Power
Jimmie Roulette: Dumb Animals
Jimmy Shubert: Licking Frogs
Jimmy Shubert: Neutering
Jo Koy: When Monkeys Get Mad
Joe Zimmerman: Getting a Cat
Joey Kola: The Male Bull Elephant Life
Joey Kola: The Male Silverback Gorilla's Fiber Intake
John Caparulo: Airport Security Inspection
John Caparulo: Big Dogs
John Caparulo: Single Guys With Cats
John Henson: Tiny Dogs
John Oliver: Democracy
Jon Dore: Dad the Dog
Jon Dore: Philanthropic Animals
Jon Lajoie: Bought a Car
Jonathan Katz: Parrot's New Speech
Jonathan Katz: Sexual Harassment in the Horse Community
Jordan Rubin: Vegetarian
Julia Sweeney: A Question for God
Julian McCullough: Friend Request
Jumping Rope
Jungle Poker
Juston McKinney: Saving Money
Kangaphant
Kangaroo & Calendar
Kangaroo Sleepovers
Kansas Wizard
Kareem Matthews: Shelter Dogs
Karen Kilgariff: On a Bottle of Shark Cartilage Pills
Kathleen Madigan: Evolution Question
Ken Jeong: Asian Veterinarian
Kevin Nealon: Faster Than the Shark
Kevin Seccia: Hunting Is Not Fair
Kitty Treat
Knock, Knock... Canoe
Knock, Knock... Cows Go
Knock, Knock... Interrupting Cow
Knock, Knock... Polar
Kristian Vallee: Election System
Kurt Metzger: The Only Animals in All of Nature
Kyle Kinane: Canadian Drama
Lab Monkeys
Larry the Cable Guy: Fishing While Hammered
Lawyer and Pig Crossing
Lawyer vs. Vulture
Lawyers and Water Fowl
Lawyers vs. Buffalo
Leek Limerick
Legless Cow
Legless Poodle
Lego my Legolas
Leo Allen: Another Saying
Leo Allen: If Animals Could Talk
Let's Play Monkey In The Tree
Let's Talk
Lewis Black: American Health
Light It Up
Like You Would Ever Call a Fish
Lion, Tiger, Lawyer, Elevator
Lisa DeLarios: Cute Stroller Story
Lisa DeLarios: Stuffed Animals
Lisa Lampanelli: On David Hasselhoff's Career
Little Johnny's Stork
Little Johnny... Name That Animal
Little Nancy's Pet
Little Red Riding Hood
Lopsided Cow
Lost in West Virginia Memories
Love Stinks
Lucky Dog
Lucky MotherDucker
Mad Cows
Mad Dog
Male Bashing
Mama Duck, Baby Duck
Man & Duck
Man Catches Crocodile
Man vs. Pig
Marc Maron: Animal Testing
Margaret Smith: John Bobbitt's Penis
Maria Bamford: I Speak Tiger
Maria Bamford: Political Aspirations
Marianne Sierk: Lost Kitten
Mark Cohen: Protest at the Beach
Mark Roberts: Dad's Toupee
Marsupial Moms
Math Dog
Mathematical Cows
Megan Mooney: Animal Abuser Niece
Mice and Light Bulbs
Migrating Birds
Mike Birbiglia: Gay Cats
Mike Birbiglia: Panda Bear Sex
Mike Vecchione: Bad Luck
Mike Vecchione: Hunting Deer
Milk Doesn't Do a Blonde Good
Mitch Hedberg: Frogs Are Always Cool
Mitch Hedberg: Pissed Off at Turkeys
Mitch Hedberg: Rotisserie Chicken
Mitch Hedberg: Subway's Duck Policy
Mitch Hedberg: Trippin' in the Woods
Mixed Breed
Mmmmmmmilk
Mo Mandel: Dog Walkers
Mole Removal
Monkey Booty Call... Fur
Monkey Booty Call... My Place
Monkey Booty Call... Spank
Monkey Love
Moof
Moosehead Beer
Moron
Mouse Droppings
Mouse Hole
Mud Hole Moral
My Dog Don't Bite
My First Sexual Experience
Myq Kaplan: New Words for Boobies
Myq Kaplan: Religious Fanatics
Naked Man
NASA Chicken Canon
New Bull
Nick Swardson: On Jane Goodall
No-Legged Dog
Norm MacDonald: Cat Food Commercial
Norm MacDonald: Valuables
Norm MacDonald: What You're Afraid Of
Nuclear Cat
Octopus
Octopus & Cow
Octopus Love
Ode to a Glowworm
Of Mice and Men
Old Joe
One-Eyed Blonde
One-Legged Hop
Only One Yogi Bear
Owen Benjamin: Pet Honesty
Panda Booty Call... Aphrodisiac
Panda Booty Call... Cute
Panda Booty Call... Eat
Panda Booty Call... Endangered
Panda Booty Call... My Place
Panda Booty Call... Pregnant
Panda Booty Call... Riddle
Panda Booty Call... WWF
Paul F. Tompkins: Genetic Pet Engineering
Paul F. Tompkins: Vicious Dogs
Paul Mercurio: Mirrors in the Wild
Paul Mooney: Dinosaurs Are Too Big
Paul Provenza: Cigarette Warnings
Peanut Butter Rooster
Penguins Drive Cars
Pervert Crossing the Road
Perverted Parrot
Pet Zebra
Pete Holmes: Earning affection
Pete Holmes: Picking Up a Dog
Pheasant and Bull
Pick-up Line...Squirrels
Pig & Centipede
Pig Farmer
Pig in a Bar
Pig in Summer
Pig!
Pints
Pirate Booty Call... Parrot
Pirate Booty Call... Whale
Pit Bull with Herpes
Platypus Booty Call... Name
Poker animals
Polar Bears
Polygon
Pop a Cap in the Lion's Gluts
Porcupine Love
Porcupine vs Ferrarri
Poultry
Pregnant Tree
Psychiatrist's Best Friend
Q:What do you do to an elephant with three ...
Rabbi and Duck
Rabbit Breakout
Rabbit Sex
Rabbits in a Row
Racoon Joke
Ram Mishap
Randy Rooster
Rattlesnake vs. Flaccid Penis
Raven & Mad Dog
Rectum
Redneck Booty Call... Dog
Redneck Booty Call... Hog
Redneck Dog
Rednecks' Dogs
Regular Toad and Horny Toad
Reindeers' Night Out
Rejected Greeting Card -- Sorry
Religious Nuts
Rene Hicks: Dog Eat Dog
Retta: Male Lions vs. Human Males
Return the Dog
Richard Jeni: Lobster Tank
Richard Jeni: Lobsters Flown In
Roadkill Logic
Rob Weinstein: Black bud With Red Blotches
Robert Schimmel: Shamu Plane
Robins in My Yard
Rocket Science
Rocky Mountain Oysters
Rodeo
Ron White: At the Vet's
Ron White: Calling Home From the Road
Ron White: Deer Hunting
Ron White: Helping the Planet
Rooster and a Telephone Pole
Rooster and Lollipop
Rooster and Owl
Rooster Crossing
Rooster in His Declining Years
Rooster Plays B-ball
Rooster Up A Pole
Rooster's Eggs
Roosters vs. Lawyers
Rover the Brick
Rude Parrot on a Plane
Running Blind
Russ Meneve: Big, Scary Lobster
Russ Meneve: Bipolar
Russ Meneve: Unprovoked Shark Attacks
Ryan Stout: Drunk Fish
Ryan Stout: If Animals Could Talk
Sad Rooster
Safe Elephant Sex
Safe Sex for Rednecks
School Joke 1
School Joke 2
School Joke 3
Scott LaRose: Angry T. Rexes
Sea Lion's idea of Fun
Seagull's Final Resting Place
Shark Attack
Sharks and Lawyers
Sheep and Kangaroo
Sheep Boy
Sheep Herder On Trial
Sheep Organ
Sheep Soup
Sheepish
Sheik That Rooster
Sheng Wang: Ahead of Its Time
Sheng Wang: Central Park Carriage Rides
Sheng Wang: Discovery Channel Moment
Sheng Wang: Fear of Rats
Shepherd To Shepherd
Shih tzu + Bulldog
Shih-Tzu + Poodle
Ships of the Desert
Shoot The Pig
Shooting an Elephant
Shop At WalRusMart
Shoulda Said
Sick Rabbit Trick
Ska band vs. Moose
Skunk
Skunk Punk
Skunked
Skunked Again
Skunks and Lawyers
Sleeping Bull
Sleeping Squirrel
Smart Blonde
Smart Fish
Smells Like Carrots
Snail Shanghai
Snake Bite
Snakeskin
So Blonde... Thesaurus
Some Things You Just CAN'T
Something Men Can't Get...
Sons Devoted to Mom
Space Monkeys
Spider Diet
Spread Frog Legs
Squirrel Kickin'' Back
Statues Come to Life
Stoned Fish
Stumpy Legged Pink Dog
Susan Norfleet: On Spuds MacKenzie
Taking Ducks to Market
Taking the Bait
Talking animals?
Tarzan Sees Elephants
Tarzan's Spare Parts
Tasties in a Half Shell
Tatonka
Tatonka Redux
Teacher's Pet
Technology-Enabled Amoebas
Ten Cows in Your Basement
Termite Fun. Yep, Termite Fun.
Thank The lord!
Thanksgiving Turkey
That's Cheesy
That's Really, Really Nasty & Practical
The "No Love" Boat
The 12 Days of Christmas
The Aging Explorer
The Answer
The Ant
The Bat Bet
The Bear Hunter
The Blonde Fox
The Blonde Takes on Grasshopper Biology
The Brass Rat
The Christmas Parrot
The Classic Joke That Sucks
The Cowboy's Last Wishes
The Creation of Man
The Cross-Eyed Cow
The Day Owl and The Night Cat
The Dead Dog
The Difference Between a Bull and a Cow
The Doctor's Little Voice
The Duck and the Condom
The Engineer and the Frog
The Farmer's Ranch
The Fish-Eating Competition
The Frog Won't Be Your Beast of Burden
The Funky Parrot
The Greatest Cow
The Lion and the Turkey
The Little Crab
The Little Fire Engine
The Lyin' King
The Magician and the Parrot
The Naked Truth
The Offspring
The Old Lady's Three Wishes
The Other Side
The Penguin
The Praying Parrot
The Rooster and the Donkey
The Scientist and the Frog
The Smartest Dog Ever
The Snail and the Dung Beetle
The Snail's Ride
The Squirrels
The Stupid Nomad
The Tale Of The Three Holes
The Talented Parrot
The Three Little Pigs
The Three Little Pigs of North Jersey
The Three Ugly Ducklings
The Train, the Soldier and the Poodle
The Vet Bill
The Werewolf
The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers
The Wrong Part of Town
The Young and The Scalpless
Thee You In The Moth Pit
There she blows
There were two blondes at the park...
Think Outside the Box
Thirsty whale
This Chicken Ain't Chicken
This Farm Boy Goes Into a Whorehouse...
This Little Piggy
Those Crazy Vermont Folk
Those Darn Blondes
Those Wacky Sharks
Three Bad Ass Mice
Three Dumb Hunters
Three Nuns and a Parrot
Three-Legged Dog
Tig: Cat Attitude
Tig: Indoor Cat
Time For a Get Together
Todd Glass: Puppy Breath
Toilet Humor
Tom Cotter: Favorite Possessions
Tom Cotter: Lame Horse
Tom Cotter: Stupid Expressions
Tom Cotter: Tension
Tom Kenny: Parrot Detects Earthquakes
Tom Rhodes: Penguins Are Better Than You
Tom Shillue: Body Piercing
Tony Camin: Cheap Aquarium
Tony Woods: Over-Confident Raccoons
Too Cold for Fido
Totally Bats
Towards and Away
Trap A Polar Bear
Trapped Inside a Whale
Traveling on Friday
Traveling Salesman in West Virginia
Trix are for Kids
Turkey Crosses the Road
Turkey Crossing
Turkey Rhythm
Turn On Your Energizer Bunny
Turtle Crossing
Turtle Sexuality
Turtle Soup
Turtles and Picnics and a Minor Tragedy
Two Blondes and a Lake
Two brunettes and a blonde...
Two Dogs Humping
Two Hedgehogs at a Zebra Crossing
Two Little Snakes
Two Of These Things Belong Together
Two Ribbons
Two-Door Chicken Coop
Two-Legged Bleeder
Ty Barnett: Killer Bees
Unbearable Lightness of Being
Unemployed Cowboy
Vampire Blood Bath
Virgin Wool
Vulgar Chicken
Wailing Whale
Walking in a Doggie Wonderland
Walks Into a Bar... Bears on Drugs
Walks Into a Bar... Different Horses
Walks Into a Bar... Dog Day Afternoon
Walks Into a Bar... Donkeyboy
Walks Into a Bar... Frugal Gorilla
Walks Into a Bar... Gator Bite
Walks Into a Bar... Got Grapes?
Walks Into a Bar... Horsing Around
Walks Into a Bar... Jets Fan
Walks Into a Bar... Monkey Eats Everything
Walks Into a Bar... Randy Panda
Walks Into a Bar... Seeing-Eye Dog
Walks Into a Bar... South American Toad
Walks Into a Bar... Talking Dog
Walks Into a Bar... Taxidermy
Walks Into a Bar... The Hamster Show
Walks Into a Bar... Three Tests
Walruses and Their Tupperware
Warming the Skunk
Water on the Inside
Weak Pillars
Well Endowed and On the Prowl
Wendy Liebman: Love the Zoo
West Virginia Deer
West Virginia Ghosts
Whale Hijinx
Whale Pleasures
What animal should you never play cards with?
What Are Ya, Chicken?
What Came First...
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo
What do you call a monket...
What do you call an elephant...
What do you get when you cross a Scottish...
What drug was the duck on...
What is red and green?
What's my name bitch?
What's Purple...Tree
What, Exactly, Are Cats?
Whats Orange And Sounds Like A Parrot?
When a Fly Drops Five Inches
When Beasts Speak!
Where's Ice Cube, Eve, and Cedric?
Which Way?
White Stuff in Bird Poop
Whitney Cummings: Babies and Dogs
Who is Marylou?!?
Who Let The Blondes Out?
Who Was the Most Drunk?
Why Cats Are Like Men
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why Do Scotsmen Wear Kilts?
Winnie the Pooh
Wizard of Toad
Wok and Roll
Yeti Booty Call... Bigfoot
Yeti Booty Call... Sherpas
Yo mama's so fat... Godzilla tried
Yo mama's So Old,..Driver's Test
Yo' Mama Is Like... Donkey
Yo' Mama Is Like... Elephant
Yo' Mama Is Like... Saint
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Elephants
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Whale Sighting
Yo' Mama Is So Fat... World Wildlife Foundation
Yo' Mama Is So Nasty... Petting Zoo
Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Park
Yo' Mama Is So Skanky... Happy Dog
Yo' Mama Is So Stanky... Monkey Poop
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Fish
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Meow Mix
Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Penguin
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Dog
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Dog Pound
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Roadkill
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Smiles
Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Zoo
Yo' Mama vs. A Chicken
Yo' Mama vs. a Hippo
Yo' Mama vs. Walrus
Yoga Instructor Booty Call... Past
You Can't Put HimTogether Again
You Can't Teach An Old Cat
You Did What With A What?
You Do Not Have To Oil Animals
You Need Elephant Muscles
Zebra Definition
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